Adult
Letters
October through December, 1998
My Shoes is a forum where we can meet other multiracial individuals with a white appearance and express our thoughts and feelings.
Adult
Letters
October through December, 1998
My Shoes is a forum where we can meet other multiracial individuals with a white appearance and express our thoughts and feelings.
This page allows members and non-members to ask questions or comment on anything they wish related to the mission of the support group. Help the support group grow by talking to group members, by contributing to discussion topics, by sending your personal story, and by posting announcements on the bulletin board. Join us!
To send your questions or comments press 
Letters:.
Name: Antigone, email address not given
Subject: reaction as a black woman soon to marry a white man
Date: 12/31/98
I do not know what the future holds for my companion and I. We are both nervous yet excited by the upcoming event of marriage. We plan to have a family, we are both "white collar" professionals. It hurts my heart to read of some of the views of the bi-racial folks. I do understand that acceptance from everyone will never occur. I have been fortunate, as my companion's family of orgin has accepted the fact:I will be with him for life. My family has accepted him, he is mine for life. Our children (no matter what they look like) will be privy to being around supportive family members and the many friends we have "collected" over the years. As a black woman who looks black but does not "sound" black, I too have crossed many hurdles. As a child, I was often the one left out of many activities. My defenses are often "up" in the presence of those who are not approving, but that is their problem! My love has no barrier. I hope and I pray that our children will feel loved by family, be fortunate enough to find their own friends and be as happy as their parents are.
Name: Henry Norcom, Hnorc@aol.com
Subject: Response to Paul Sterrett letter:Paper
Bag Club
Date: 12/31/98
I am a bit confused by Paul's comments. If he is not going to PRESUME to know what the sight is for, why does he ASSUME that it is a "paper-bag club". Maybe he should educate himself on the facts before exposing his ignorance.
Name: Ebenezer Lewis, benleguis@hotmail.com
Subject: Me
Date: 12/30/98
James Baldwin in "A Rap on Race" with Margaret Meade (1970?) spoke of a madness caused by physical identity not matching personal or psychological id entity and socio-cultural identity. That is exactly my situation. Baldwin and Meade also rapped about claiming ancestors and descendants, the issue of claim ing the other. That is also my situation. As a Puerto Rican son of an Anglo- Welsh yankee father and a non-Castilian mixed Puerto Rican mother who has been reared within both the Yankee culture and the Puerto Rican culture (which by the way is more Hispanic than African) and who physically favors the Puerto Ri can side I find myself a victim of this madness. As far as I'm concerned I'm "basically" white though I recognize that I'm something more akin to a quadroon (to use language typical of colonial Puerto Rico). No one has ever identified me as black although some have seen some negroid background, which I acknowledge So that's the madness. I do not look Anglo. I look more Puerto Rican (but neither do I look Spanish since as mentioned above my mother was not what Hispan ics refer to as "Castilian"). I do not look Anglo but I identify more with the Lewis family. That brings in the next issue. The Lewis family has always claimed me. I have always claimed them. Regardless of how some relatives may identify me as (the Puerto Rican grandson of Roger and Helen) they accept me as one of the family. One of the family who is not exactly like them. In Puerto Rico it has always been completely acceptable to be a white person with negroid or indian or mixed ancestry, an ancestry that does not affect one's social iden tity. Of course, Puerto Ricans do recognize the difference between being pure or more than 80% white and being white-looking and less than 60% white. "Y tu abuela, donde esta?" And your grandmother, where is she? is a typical putdown for white folks who deny their black or mixed ancestry. Someone like Jose Feli ciano, who is what Hispanics call "Castilian" (definitely white) could have and most probably does mixed ancestry and it just wouldn't matter to Feliciano himself, his family and relatives, and no one else in Puerto Rico. (Wealthy Mexican mestizos and even Indians were able to buy from the King of Spain a do cument claiming "pureza de sangre", the priviliged Spanish state of being pure of blood - Y tu abuela, donde esta?!) So as a Puerto Rican I'm just white. As a Lewis I'm also white. As for myself I'm white. But according to a strict reading of American racial codes (and I identify with the US first and foremost, ironically in this case) I am not white. I'm biracial.
Name: Ebenezer Lewis, benleguis@hotmail.com
Subject: One Drop
Date: 12/30/98
The one drop of black blood idea is an Anglo American idea for the purpose of exclusion and keeping the children of slaves down. It's not a Span ish American idea. That's why "Latinos" (by the way, I dislike the name) do not subscribe to it. Anglos (and by extension Italo and Slav, etc, Americans) already exclude Hispanics, even pure white Hispanics for certain reasons. So it's good that Hispanics are not subjected to one more form of exclusion. To me it's just myopic how Italo Americans can look down on white Hispanics. Spain's people and Italy's people are brothers. Of course, "Anglos" (Anglos, etc) real ly believe that all Hispanics are "mongrels" I'm sure some of my relatives be lieve that too. Another form of one-sideness is how folks who are white by looks, upbringing, etc, who have some Indian blood are not considered bi-racial or mestizo. An example is one of my fave 50s rockers Elvis Presley (the King). He's a white boy and that's that. It doesn't matter that he's quarter or less Indian (Cherokee, I think). Then there are Hispanics who are white by looks, upbringing, etc, who have some Indian blood, a quarter or less. Right away,they are not white, they're mixed, and that's that. The Anglos and their Mediterrea nean (including Castilian Americans, those born of parents directly from Spain) and Slavic imitators exclude as many people as possible.
Name: A.D. Powell, powell@danenet.wicip.org
Subject: Who is "White"?
Date: 12/22/98
Why does Michelle Falgoust (12/17/98) assume that her father and son are not "white" but only "look white"? What is a "white" anyway? Does she consider her husband a "pure white"? Does she believe that all "whites" are "pure"? Why does she assume that Latinos have none of the dreaded "black blood" when they have plenty of African ancestry?
The "one drop" myth is maintained primarily through self-policing. If its victims stopped catering to it, the myth would quickly die.
Name: Michelle Falgoust, Creole831@aol.com
Subject: "Lucky to Not Look Black"
Date: 12/17/98
I am a Multiracial-American woman of color of mixed African-American, French, and Native American heritage who's father, along with most of his side of the family, looks white. Growing up, I know that my Dad's skin color (or lack thereof) has shielded him from blatent discrimination.Being the child of a white-looking father and a dark-skinned black woman has given me and my sister the appearance of other non-whites. Both of us have been mistaken for Mexican, Puerto Rican, Peruvian, "pure" Native American, Indian (from India), etc. Although my sister and I haven't experienced the outward racism from whites that much darker-skinned, African-featured blacks would experience, we have still been discriminated against like any other minority. My Dad, however, has not dealt with racism in that sense. Because of the way he looks, I know that his experiences are different from the "average" African-American male. Whenever he walks through a white neighborhood, no cop is going to stop him asking him of his business. Whenever he walks into a store in the mall, white women don't clutch their purses out of fear that he would try to steal from them. Whenever he is shopping, sales clerks do not follow him around with the assumption that he is going to shoplift. Because I love my father and think the world of him, I used to think in the back of my mind that my Dad is lucky that he does look white. Of course, the reality is that people judge on appearances and that if he did look black that he would deal with the things that damn near all black males have to deal with. If this country wanted to do this, white people could "openly blacklist" people by letting the world know that certain individuals are of Arican descent, whether it is obvious or not. In Nazi Germany, the Germans forced every person of Jewish or part Jewish heritage to wear a patch or armband with the Star of David attached to it as a way of "branding" them. What if this country decided to make all of us of African descent, whether we are African-American, Biracial, or Multiracial, to wear armbands with the continent of Africa embroidered on it to announce to the world that we posess African ancestry? I am also married to a wonderful man who happens to be white. We have a beautiful son that is a carbon copy of my husband. He has totally Caucasian features, dirty blonde hair, and white skin. Hopefully, his white-looking appearance will not be considered a "luck of the draw" type of deal or make him wish that he looked "more like mommy". Everybody should be proud of who and what they are regardless of society's warped beliefs. As I was taught, be proud of the uniform you're issued.
Name: Bobbi Jo Krals, esperanto@point-net.com
Subject: Canadian television documentary
Date: 12/16/98
I am a Canadian independent documentary television filmmaker looking for bi-racial couples (any age; with and without kids) to profile for a one hour documentary about being bi-racial in today`s society. I would especially appreciate responses from Canadians. My idea is to follow these couples and their experiences over a period of time, documenting their feelings, relationships with family/friends, handling bi-racial children`s issues, etc.
If you are interested or know of anyone you think I should contact, please write back and I`ll forward more info. Thank you!
Bobbi Jo Krals Esperanto Productions
Name: John, email address not given
Subject: Paul Sterrett's Message On "colored
people"
Date: 12/11/98
Pardon my ignorance, but what exactly does Paul mean by a "Cyber paper bag club"? I am sure it is not complimentary...
Name: Harold D. Thomas, texan@tisd.net
Subject: Interracial Couples in 1960s and 1970s
Date: 12/9/98
From: Katie Woods <ktwoods@falcon.cc.ukans.edu>
I am a historian at the University of Kansas, and the Master's thesis I am working on may be of interest to list members. I am studying Black/White interracial marriages in the 1960s and 1970s. Among other things, I am interested in the impact of the Civil Rights Movement on these relationships.
To complete the study, I would like to hear from people who entered into Black/White interracial marriages during this period who have stories to tell about their experiences. I am particularly interested in reactions from family members, friends, and the general population.
You, your family members or friends may fit the parameters of my study. I would appreciate your help in disseminating my research request. Couples or individuals can write to me at the address listed below, or send me an email message. Confidentiality is guaranteed.
Thank you for your help. Write me c/o Department of History, 3001 Wescoe Hall, University of Kansas, Lawrence, KS 66045, or email: ktwoods@ukans.edu.
-Katharine Ekhardt Woods
Name: al bennett, gotoalchar@AOL.com
Subject: Passchild OR Pass Child
Date: 12/8/98
Any info re: Passchild or Pass Child greatly appreciated. Need historical use and period(s) of use and any other facts you can provide. Thanks!
Name: Valanda M. Parker, vmparker@flash.net
Subject: From a black woman's prospective
Date: 12/8/98
I happened to stumble across this page one day when I was trying to find interesting sites for my sister who is married interracially and has a bi-racial son. And at best I must admit that I am not sure why as a group of people (Black that is) that have been discriminated and oppressed for years, why we have a hangup with the various shades of black, or not being black enough, being too black, or too light-skinned. I am an African American woman in my mid 20's and through out my years growing up it had always been a given that if you were light-skinned you were pretty and that generally if you were dark skinned or heck, even medium complected you weren't all that. Growing up under that kind of pressure did a number on me during high school.
Despite being multi-racial (Black and Native American on my grandmother's side)I never felt anything other than black because of the package on the outside. I remember as a child my sister and I asking our mother if she was white. Clearly she wasn't, but she was different from us -- we were darker. She was lighter. It confused us then as five year olds when she responded that she was black when she appeared a lot lighter than us. Back then it was o.k. to be light skinned because it was your ticket but now it seems that if your too light skinned you weren't Black enough. Confusing huh? It wasn't until I got older and began to see the diversity and the many shades of Black and Bi-racial people that I begin to see that we are all beautiful and unique individuals.
I just want to say to those of you who have had negative encounters with Black people about your race. Don't give up on us (Black people). Whether or not many Black people who discriminate against Biracial people realize it or not, but they are discriminating against themselves. None of us are in any true sense of the word are "pure". I can't however condone any action (by Black people) that may have made you feels as if you didn't fit in but please, don't give up on us. Don't give up on being black or white. Embrace both. I welcome any repsonses this may ilicit.
Name: Pissed, email address not given
Subject: Response to Lynn's
discussion posting
Date: 12/6/98
In refernce to Lynn's letter, I have a serious problem with it. The first thing that I'm trying to comprehend is how could a woman of color , especially a woman of Black ancestory down part of her people ? When she ( the mother down Black people she is putting down herself BECUSE SHE IS BLACK and the other heritages she claims to be. Have she dated every Black man ?? I'm Black and Indian . I do not care about how many Black men have hurt me, there are many Black men who are very good to their spouses. To me , this letter is an insult and it is hypocritical . Ihave no problem with a person saying they date/marry a person out of the opposite race because it's their prefences but when they raise their children with hypocrisy ( A mixed race woman with Black in her blood ) and to put down Black men, it is despicable. For all she could had known her husband's White in-laws could have said the same thing about her. Lynn's mother 's generalizations of Black men are unfounded. Any man can hurt you. What I learned about Generalizations is that the people who we look down on are the very people who will make me proud and the the people who we think of are the people who end up making us cry. I've been there
(Moderator's Note: To locate Lynn's posting, select "Lynn's discussion posting" under subject above and then scroll down to 11/16/98.)
Name: Linda Hayes, ldmhayes@thehelm.com
Subject: Wont you please become part of the family
Date: 12/5/98
Come meet and be part of the faces behind the most poetic, artistic, thought provoking websites beautifully created by people of color. http://members.wbs.net/homepages/l/m/a/lmayfield214
http://members.wbs.net/homepages/l/m/a/lmayfield214/Faces3.gif
Name: Paul Sterrett, opus125@peachworld.com
Subject: colored people
Date: 12/4/98
I'm not going to presume to know if your intentions in this club are good. However, what you have here, is a Cyber paper bag club.
Name: Paul, Vipa@prodigy.net
Subject: just found out?
Date: 12/4/98
My name is Paul.I have been married for six years and have been the subject of racial abuse and never even knew it.My wifes family is from eastern europe and always had a "thing" for my hands.About two years ago while at a holiday get together with friends ,one of those present said that she could if you were predisposed to certain diseases by the lines on your hands.Well everyone had two,except for me.They laughed hysterically without telling me why.It was on that night that my wife decided to leave me.The next day,I asked someone at work if he knew why they were laughjing and thats when I first found out about "simean lines".I look white and both my father(irish) and my mother(italian/sicilian ) look white.I have been the subject of abuse ever since,not for having a black ancestor,but for pretending to be white(it never occurred to me that I was anything else).It's to the point that I may have to leave town.If anyone has had similar experiences ,I would appreciate hearing them as I'm really having a difficult time with this(not because of my ancestry but other peoples attitudes towards me.
Name: Denyse Moore, denyse.moore@asu.edu
Subject: Black/White Biracial interviews
Date: 12/2/98
I am doing some research on mixed race individuals of Black/White heritage. I am specifically looking at identity development. I am looking to interview individuals about their identity development from their childhood years to present. If you are interested please email me and tell me how I can get a hold of you. Thank You.
Name: Natyra Brown, buttabrown_3@hotmail.com
Subject: what about those that are black
Date: 12/1/98
I see that being biracial has had a big effect on people but, it seems to also be an advantage for you. Fellas, especially black men, seem to like you, the black women that look white much more than the blacks that look black. I am a very darkskinned sister and many men don't approach me simply because of my appearence. Some say tha chocolate girls are out of atyle but, WHEN HAVE WE EVER BEEN IN STYLE!!!!! Most people might not understand because there aren't too many darkskinned women left. What I fail to understand is why do we insist on making ourselves look like another race. Now all I see is alot of black women dying their hair blond. What kind of crap is that!!!!? We need to be true to ourselves and try to give those black women that are truly black a chance. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing aginst biracial people but believe me, being truly black is no piece of cake either.
Name: Miranda, miranda7085@hotmail.com
Subject: Expecting Multiracial Quads
Date: 11/29/98
Hi! I am eight months pregnant with quads. I am white and the father of the babies is black with some hispanic. While I have dealt with a interracial relationship, I am still trying to figure out the best possible way to raise my multiracial children. I am still young myself (18 years). I am no longer in a relationship with the father. I want my children to know and be raised in each area of their heritage if possible. If any of you have any suggestions or possible ways of informing my children of their races, please let me know! Also, if any of you have heard of or read any books with multiracial characters, I would love to know of those as well! Thank you so much for your help. Maybe one day, my babies will be chatting in here as well!
(Moderator's Note: For books to read, look at the Youth and Adult Bulletin Boards at this site and select "Books".)
Name: Eric, kahawa_21@yahoo.com
Subject: Being Yourself
Date: 11/28/98
Stumbled across 'My Shoes' while browsing the net. Wanted to see what the word 'mulatto' would lead to on the eve of the next century. Have been wondering for quite some time how people of color, especially in the current generation, were defining/redefining the concept of race and identity. If the stereotypes of the 20th century were finally beginning to crack. And what would emerge from that cultural prison. Me? Am a 40+ man, father: African-American, with a touch of Cherokee. Mother: French and North African. Have been mostly been mistaken for everything but Black or White, (depending on who was talking, I was 'exotic' or 'ethnic', until the black aspect was made known. In which case, that usually ended the conversation). While I have lived my life in the Black community, all too often felt like I was walking a tightrope. Whenever I encountered another biracial person, while there was the recognition of the 'otherness', it was seldom spoken out loud. Like to do so would be a kind of betrayal of our Black brothers and sisters. Finding 'My Shoes' is providing a place for us to express all of ourselves. Thank you for this creation.
p.s. Open to any responses, mail and the chance to establish friendships
Name: Michele Wilson, MARK.W2@WORLDNET.ATT.NET
Subject: MY SHOES WEB SITE
Date: 11/27/98
Juanita, I am writing to comliment you on your insightful web site. I am a 33 year old white female, married to an african american man for the last 10 years. We are raising 2 bi-racial children. 7 and 4 years old. I am always open to hear about, and learn about, other people's plights and situations and how they handle them in regards to inter-racial children and marriages. We are in a continual educating process with our children, teaching them self confidence, pride, strength (mental), and are trying to give them the power to believe in themselves and their worth as human beings. I thank god for my family everyday, and give thanks the ignorance of this world does not eat, sleep, or breathe in our home! Kudos again on your site.
Name: Patrice, patricelfarmer@hotmail.com
Subject: Assumptions
Date: 11/24/98
I was just standing in line at the college I go to for registration and I noticed a little black girl speaking in spanish. I asked the mother, 'what school does she go to?' She told me, and then said, 'They really help black kids get ahead. You should check it out.' I looked at her, I guess she noticed because she stopped talking. If only she knew my daughter was white. I also run into situations like that. I'm multiracial, but they assume that I have a black child. They'll talk to me about white people and how much they are racist. And how white people treat 'us'. I just look real funny. Because, this is the attitude they will have toward my daughter.
Name: Tara, email address not given
Subject: In response to Mrs.
Theo: Understanding what it is like for interracial children
Date: 11/20/98
First of all, don't let anyone lay that old guilt trip on you that because you and your husband "mixed races", your children are going to have "problems". This same guilt trip was laid on my mother and father and it's ridiculous! Children are going to encounter problems growing up no matter what their race. However, your children may encounter issues that their friends may not. They may have to deal with kids in school picking at them for having a white mommy and a black daddy. They may feel as though they are not black enough for the blacks and too black for the whites. These are issues that my brother and I both had to deal with (he is now 21 and I am 26, our mom was German/Am.Indian and dad was black), but our parents somehow were always there to say and do the right things and make us feel better about ourselves. We got called names such as Oreo, zebra, half-breed and mutt, but our parents simply explained to us that these hateful attitudes usually come from jealousy, and unfortunately, sometimes, pure prejudice(which is a direct result of fear and ignorance). My mother and I recently got into a lengthy discussion about some of the things that I went through in school that she didn't know about (hair pulling, rocks thrown at me walking home from school - one girl even rigged a small hand-held radio where the antenna would shock me when she touched me with it) and she told me that I should have never felt bad about who I was because if God didn't mean for us (bi-racial/multi-racial children) to be here, he wouldn't allow us to come into the world. Just keep in mind that you and your husband need to be caring and understanding when dealing with your children's "racial problems". Don't be afraid to raise hell with teachers at school who "don't seem to notice" others harrassing your children(my mother went to a few of my schools and did this - once even requesting a conference with one of the real problem kids' parents). And as I told my mother, even though she's my mom and knows everything there is to know about me, she will never know what it's like to grow up being bi-racial and not being able to fully identify with one race or another. So again, I think what mixed children need most is support, understanding and caring - and to be told that no matter what ANYONE says about them, THEY ARE SPECIAL. It worked for me! I hope my input was of some help to you. Good luck and God bless.
(Moderator's Note: To find Mrs. Theo's posting, click "Mrs. Theo" next to the subject above and then scroll down the page to June 2, 1998.)
Name: John, email address not given
Subject: inter-racial dating and how it is wrong
Date: 11/18/98
Regarding Steven's November 12 comment of the same subject:
Inter-racial dating and marriage are NOT wrong. They are as old as humanity itself. Why do you think they are wrong?
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Message for new member MaLinda
Date: 11/18/98
MaLinda, I need your email address for my records. I will NOT post it if that is your desire. You can send it to me privately by pressing my email address above
From Site Moderator
Name: David, uni@mcid.com
Subject: Soon-to-be Dad
Date: 11/17/98
My name is David. I'm a 32-year-old father-to-be and a partner in an interracial relationship.
I enjoyed reading your stories. I found them all though-provoking and look forward to returning to this site again and again.
We live in a diverse community, with several multi-ethnic families in our neighborhood. We are advocates on diversity of every level, be it skin color, religion, sexuality, what have you.
We're expecting our baby on December 6, 1998. And we can't wait! I would love to hear your thoughts and comments (and would gladly accept your collective guidance) as we embark on this journey as a multi-racial family.
I have opened a discussion group through Excite Communities. The address is as follows:
http://comm.excite.com/comm/area/pw/welcome/main.asp?cid=.8QolSTRhKEF&cc=foo
Certainly, your emails are welcome.
Thank you for this wonderful site. I hope to hear from many of you!
Name: Tara Paulk, email address not given
Subject: Why Society Tries To Make Us Choose
Date: 11/17/98
It really pisses me off that society has the power to "decide" what we are. My mother is German/American Indian and my natural father is black. My birth certificate says that I am black. Why? The "one drop rule". Simply because I may have one drop of black blood in me makes me black? Because my father is black makes me black? What about my mother? I'm supposed to ignore the heritage that she contributed? Besides, didn't she give me life?
While growing up, I didn't consider myself black or white. To me, I don't look black, but I don't look white either. Because of my light tan complexion, long hair and green eyes, I am constantly asked "what are you"? What kind of crap is that to ask anyone? And does it really matter? If I'm not what one thinks I am, will it make a difference?
I think of myself (being multi-racial) as being unique. I am an individual - not a race (even though there are many people just like me). Once, when told that I am black because my father is black, my reply was as follows:
If you have a glass of soda and a glass of milk, and you pour half of the soda into the milk, it doesn't make the milk soda - but it isn't just milk anymore, is it?
That's how I feel about myself. I am not the soda - but I am not the milk either. I am a whole new concoction. I wish it was as easy to make society understand my reasoning for not being able to solely choose and /or identify with just one race as it was for me to make that person understand.
By the way, that person was my husband, who is black, and now completely respects (although he will never fully understand without experience) my reasons for not just "picking" a race or accepting what society has labeled me as. In my eyes, my race is not black, not white - but MIXED.
Name: Harold Thomas, texan@tisd.net
Subject: My Shoes Anniversary
Date: 11/15/98
Hello All,
It is hard to believe that "Myshoes" is two years old. I have been actively using this site for over a year now, and have made some great friendships because of it. I remember the day I found this site. It was a godsend, for I finally found a group of people who understood what I was going through. I hope you all find this place as helpful as I have. We all owe Dr. Brooks a debt of gratitude for making it available.
I recently started a mailing list for bi-racial people like us. If you would like more info, please visit the link below.
In closing, I would like to say that I do not believe that anything just happens. I believe that it is no accident that we are here, but that it is the hand of God that brings us together. I hope that we can network and be the support system that we all need.
Take Care, Harold http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/BI-Racial
Name: Tricia Ridener, Loveseesnocolor@rocketmail.com
Subject: Raising Bi-racial children
Date: 11/13/98
I am a 20 year old single parent of a bi-racial son. He is three years old. His father is black and I am white. I truly believe that my son is a gift sent from god. I want some insight on raising my son. I want to know about other people's perspectives on being raised bi-racial.
Name: Steven, email address not given
Subject: inter-racial dating and how it is wrong
Date: 11/12/98
I know this is a touchy subject but I was wondering if someone could tell me some information on how and why dating or merrying a person from another race is morally wrong ?
Name: silverspider, silverspider@netscape.net
Subject: an ally in your fight despite my comments here
Date: 11/11/98
I have read the remarks on this page for months now and they all seem to pivot around the same topics. Does the color of my skin verify my right to be human- do I have to be in a racial catagory to feel aknowledged-will my children be subjected to the same ingnorances as society now-and so forth. My comment is very simplistic one. There is not a person in any race that feels they are rightfully acknowledged yet when they are asked to fill out a questionaire they do not create havoc over there heritage not being a choice. I don't say that with scorn for this page but with a certian amount of compassion. I have seen prejudice and it has made me sick to my stomache. Yet when I see a group of poeple who claim to only want to belong screaming for some special recognition, then I wonder if that in itself isn't a form of prejudice? Is it that they feel too good to be just who they are in life or does that lack of a perfect place create some abscence in their life? If we spent the time to notice every racial combination we would have a list of two or three hundred possibilities. I am not talking against the writers on these areas at all, honestly I am trying to alleviate their need to be identified or for fear that children will grow into the mold of bi-racial...tell me one person who is not descriminated against in one form ar another. One writer said that she claimed racial independence? How can the joining of two cultures so opposed to one another form a link of independence? I say that instead of fighting for independence direct your energy into racial unity.
Name: Paulette Wilkes, Wilkfam1@aol.com
Subject: Children of mixed race experience
Date: 11/10/98
In one way you would say that my story would be different. I am not of a mixed race. I am a white woman who married a black man. Together we have 3 children. My husband has 3 older all black children from his first marriage. Our three children together tend to look more like the white race. I was told by my mother, my children would never fit in, that neither race would accept them. Maybe in the past that may have been true, but this day and time, my children are accepted by both races. They are no different than that of a black child, white child , or any child of any other race. Suprisingly we live in the south. Don't get me wrong, we have our share of prejudice from some people, but it is mostly older white people. We even feel it in my family from my fathers side, the original bible belt people. My mothers people are from the north where it is more accepting. My husband and I have a strong relationship which tends to help. Communication is strong and with this we pass down to our children. If you have a problem, try to solve it dont run away. They have the experience of both races which make them unique in their own way. I just hope when they are grown they too will pass our teachings down. My step children are a very big part of our life also. They are proud of their younger siblings and teach them things that me as a white woman cant when it comes to being black. I would love to hear from other parents of mixed children and share stories.
Name: Patrice Farmer, patricelfarmer@hotmail.com
Subject: Response to Raza's
Personal Story
Date: 11/10/98
I have been accused of various things since I can remember. As a child, I was very light skinned with long blondish brown hair and changing eyes, that were mostly hazel on various days. I was always single out and treated differently. People knew then that either I was mixed or would call me white. As I got older, I darken and now looks more Puerto Rican, which is one of my heritages. I live in S.W. Detroit, a multiracial community where people usually know that I'm mixed, Puerto Rican, or they just assume that I'm a light-skinned black. When I go outside of that community in the rest of Detroit, they just think that I'm black. I've been told several times by blacks, "You don't look mixed to me." If they do know, they just assume I'm suppose to ignore my various heritages and take on black as the only one.They have no clue about my various heritages and what I feel. I wear the Puerto Rican flag around my neck, no one notices. I cook Puerto Rican food, mostly, they assume that I know how to cook Southern Food. A woman recently asked me, "You eat chitterlings?" I said, no. She said, "Oh yeah, that's right, you're mixed." With my duaghter being almost completely white in appearance and genetics, I experience another discrimination, that of a mother of a white child. I identify more with mixed people or the mothers/fathers of mixed children. They know what I'm going through and what my daughter will go through. My daughter and I look absolutely nothing alike. I have lost friends, a job, and recently have almost been attacked because of the color of my skin, my daughters skin, and the choice I made in the non-black men I date, and had a child with. It is not easy living where I do. I see black people becoming just as racist as many whites have been. It's frightening to think that this is the world that my daughter will grow up in.
Name: John, email address not given
Subject: Being with others
Date: 11/9/98
To Cindy, who wrote a note with the above subject: welcome to the club! I've been in "your shoes" many times!
More seriously, though - having been "where you are" for many years, I can only suggest that, IF THE OPPORTUNITY PRESENTS ITSELF, start hanging out with a more diverse group of people. Obviously, not all whites have the ignorant perspective that you are describing. Still, it is enriching to socialize with people of diverse backgrounds. In so doing, perhaps you will find it easier to jettison those "friends" which in reality aren't.
You didn't say where you live, so I don't know if that opportunity presents itself or not....?
Name: Leanne, leanne3@hotmail.com
Subject: My Shoes Anniversary
Date: 11/8/98
Congratulations on the MyShoes anniversary. I've thoroughly enjoyed the site and continue to log on when I can to see updates. In fact, it is really helping me gain some perspective in terms of my Masters research. So...good stuff!
Name: SooJean Choi Misailidis, soojean@yahoo.com
Subject: Psychological Research
Date: 11/7/98
I am a graduate student in psychology, and I am currently conducting research on people of mixed racial descent. If you are mixed race, multiracial, multiethnic, biracial, or biethnic, and you are willing to complete a questionnaire which takes about 45-60 minutes to complete, please contact me.
Thank you!
Name: Renea , danrenea@Imap2.asu.edu
Subject: dating and marriage
Date: 11/7/98
I am a phd student at Arizona State University. My area of study is biracial identity. I am African American and married to an Italian. We have a beautiful two-year old daughter. So, my research topic will not only help me earn my phd but offer me support as I raise my daughter. (Actually, my husband has a daughter from a previous marriage to a woman who is half Japanese and African American. Unfortunately, HER mother does very little to expose her to the wonderful traditions of both her cultural backgrounds.) My current focus is "Who do biracial teens and adults choose to date and marry and why?" As of yet, I don't have a formal "tool" such as a questionnaire. I'd really like to get personal stories and go from there. So, I'd like to hear from all ages and racial combinations. Please tell me your racial mix, how you explain your racial identity to others if asked, and your dating choices. Tell me as little or as much as you'd like. Please send responses via email. I'll be happy to share any findings with you all via this site or personal responses. Thank you in advance for sharing your stories and thoughts.
Name: Cindy, email address not
given
Subject: Being with others
Date: 11/6/98
Hi, I am 1/2 black and half white. I hang around with mostly white people. I am always told that I really do not look black. People often confuse me as hispanic or Italian. When I go out with my friends I sometimes run into people that will make a lot of racial slurs around me. The slurs are not directed to me because the person making them does not know that I am black. I hate going out because of this. The thing that really bothers meis my friends will not even say anything. They will just laugh. They always tell me "You are not someone that people are racist against, because of the way you look and act" I hate this so much. I wanted to know if this is happpening to anyone else?
Name: A.D. Powell, powell@danenet.wicip.org
Subject: Reply to "Monique" - No such thing as a "light-skinned
black"
Date: 11/4/98
I won't bother giving a lengthy reply to black-identified types such as "Monique" (10/23/98 letter) who want to desperately believe that "blacks" can "look white" and still be "black." There is NO SUCH THING as a "light-skinned black." A person who doesn't look black ISN'T black. Also, Anglo multiracials should not say that they are "mistaken for Hispanic." A "Hispanic" has just as much dreaded "black blood" as you - usually more. Start "claiming" them.
People who want more information can check out my essays on this subject:
http://www.webcom.com/intvoice/powell4.htmlhttp://www.webcom.com/intvoice/powell8.htmlhttp://www.webcom.com/intvoice/powell9.html
Name: Patrice Farmer, patricelfarmer@hotmail.com
Subject: Attacked
Date: 11/3/98
I am a multiracial person, who is the mother of a child with a white appearance, a child who is 3/4 white and is considered white on her birth certificate. Just today, I was attacked by a dark skinned man because I was lightskinned. I was standing at the bus stop with a woman who was also mixed. He looked at us with pure hatred, and kept staring at a picture of my daughter around my neck. He tried to hit me, after spitting at me, and I confronted him. He called me a "yellow, so and so. I hate you..." I was grateful that my daughter was not with me. But, if I could be attacked, and I'm light brown skinned, I can imagine the hatred my daughter will face with blond hair, blue eyes, and white skin among African Americans. I moved to a mixed community to escape this hatred for her sake. But, this is the first time they have physically come against me, and not just words and looks. This makes me even more determined to try to protect my daughter from racist of any race.
Name: John, email address not given
Subject: So, what is your problem
Date: 11/3/98
Regarding "Tony's" comment of the same title, what can I say? After getting past his gratuitous reference to us as "clowns", I remembered that Tony is right. By virtue of our hue, visage, etc. we do have some significant advantages we didn't earn in the world at large. But we also have our own unique set of challenges which are discussed at length on this site. Sometimes it is seeing too clearly the racism that surrounds us when we hear racist comments that our darker-skinned brothers and sisters don't hear (I know that doesn't compensate for the racist white cops, but it is still debilitating when you hear them enough). Sometimes it is the constant pressure to "prove" one's self to others that you "belong". And in general, it is the constant invasion of one's privacy when people with absolutely no need to know continue to press you with the "what are you" question and no matter what your answer, it is not enough (e.g., "Black? Yeah right. And what else?" or "What kind of mixed?")
Tony, I don't begrudge your opinions for one second. All I ask you to do is recognize that in this world, it is no longer just a question of black vs. white, and the fact that when someone different from you seeks to advance their cause, it doesn't mean they are trying to drag you down.
Name: MARI, MNAANOS@STDNTPOP.LMU.EDU
Subject: INTERRCIAL CURIOSITIES
Date: 11/3/98
HI, UMM I'M A COLEGE STUDENT AM I'M WRITING A RESEARCH PAPER ON INTERRACIAL CHILDREN. ANYHOW, IN ORDER TO COMPLETE THIS ASSIGNMENT I NEED SOME INFORMATION ON THOSE OPPOSSED TO BIRACIAL CHILDREN.. CAN ANYONE HELP? I NEED THIS BY FRIDAY NOV. 6 THANKS
Name: Nikki, email address not given
Subject: I understand
Date: 11/3/98
I am an 26 year old female. My mother is black, mixed with indian. She is from the Carribean Islands. My father is european/white. Being that I was raised in the Carribean, grew up with my black family, went to school with mainly black people, liked their type of music ect ect.....I always considered myself one of them. But I am very light. My brothers are darker then me....I'm the lightest in my family. I am tall, dark hair, pretty curly on good days, very light skinned. People mistake me for Puerto Rican, Brasilian, but never biracial. Some say that I have some black features, but they would never guess that I had black blood in me. However, I am proud of all my heritages and could care less about what people think. I make it a point that they know, and if they have a problem with it, then so be it. Luckily, I was never really teased growing up. I was accepted the way I was. But believe me I have experianced my share of racism. Stinging remarks made at the table or at the office about blacks by my coworkers that didn't know that I was biracial. People are ignorant and continue to be . They can please themselves.
(Moderator's Note: Nikki I would like to send to you a personal note regarding the My Shoes support group. Would you let me know how I can contact you. I will not release your email address without your permission. Press my name to send a message to me - Juanita.)
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Important Information About Thomas Jefferson
Date: 11/3/98
Jefferson's secret life: Did the author of the Declaration of Independence take a slave for his mistress? DNA tests say yes. For the story press US News Online
Name: Jacquie, jacquie@texas.net
Subject: B/W Community
Date: 11/3/98
I keep getting strange comments in response to my postings on this site. I've been solicited from some self-identified "white guy" who wanted to be my "submissive white sex slave" and just today I got a message from somebody who told me that I need to stop "bitching" about being beautiful and accused me of being "confused and sad" and "desperately in need of acceptance". I'm curious if any of you have received such outlandish, off based responses. I'm getting the feeling that the mono racials are actually threatened by us. I'm really tired of people assume that I must be confused since I don't, won't and absolutely refuse to identify as anything other than what I am -- bi-racial. I just don't get why our unity and desire to for accurate idenfication is such a HUGE issue for those this doesn't have anything to do with. Btw, you'll be happy to know that I reported the pervert to his internet provider and I believe he was promptly shut down
Name: Nahida Hadeesh, Nahidah@aol.com
Subject: Support group for bi-cultural parents.
Date: 11/2/98
I am doing a support group for parents who are in bi-cultural relationships with small children. I would like to bring topics as how to talk with their children about cultural/identity issues. I would like to hear from anyone who grew up in a such environment and what they feel important information should come from parents. I appreciate any response from children(teens)/adults.
Name: Althea Anne Allen,dryden@aye.net
Subject: My Shoes Anniversary
Date: 11/1/98
CONGRATULATIONS! and THANK YOU to Juanita Brooks for initiating and maintaining this site. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading the stories of "others" and watching MyShoes grow. Those of us living the Biracial Experience in a white body have unique issues and it's very comforting knowing there is a place in the cyberworld where such discussions can take place.
Name: Henry, hnorc@aol.com
Subject: My Shoes Anniversary
Date: 11/1/98
Whenever possible I try to drop the site on other folks to get them in on the group. I think some people are still fearful of repercussions if it is discovered they were on the site. I spoke with one young lady who was afraid of what her darker friends would say to her if she became involved with the site. It is a shame that some of the same folks who claim to embrace "Black Unity", decry anyone who wants to interact with others who look like us.
Name: John, email address not given
Subject: My Shoes Anniversary
Date: 11/1/98
Congratulations on your two-year "anniversary". Yours is definitely one of the more "fulfilling" sites I check out. It is also very therapeutic.
Not being a particularly verbose person, it is difficult for me to compose a missive on how your site may have affected my life over the past year. Suffice to say that I sense that I have encountered a number of "soulmates" via your site - including you - that I probably couldn't have made contact with any other way. I particularly remember in an oddly fond sort of way our email exchanges awhile back when we recounted to each other how as kids, we had to stay in our folks' cars when our families were traveling across the south in the "not-so-old" days. Although I am sure there are others, I truly have never "met" anyone else outside of my immediate family who has shared that experience with me.
Your site is also unique among socially activist sites in its civility - certainly more so than IV - yet it has provided a valuable opportunity to share valuable perspectives and experiences with others who appear willing to listen and empathize.
Anyway, congrats again and I hope you are able to keep up the good work. Please do not hesitate to let me know if I can be of help.
Name: Alissa R. King, alissarking@hotmail.com
Subject: My Shoes Anniversary
Date: 11/1/98
My Shoes has done a great deal of good for me. It is full of a wealth of opinion and information which cause me to ponder the new ideas that are thrown my way. I love being able to respond to people and answer people's questions (If my child is biracial, how will I expose him/her to his/her respective cultures?). I never felt as though my life had much meaning (being biracial and being adopted) until I found this forum and realized that prospective parents have questions about raising biracial children (and I'm one that's been raised and is a success), or teenagers don't know how to deal with dating. I can offer advice becaue I've lived through a lot of it.
I suspect that my opinions will change again due to some new experience I encounter. That's what life is for. That's why we go to school or don't go to school, why we work or don't work, why we explore or read books of others who have explored. We learn from what's around us and we use that valuable information later on in life, when we most need it.
Name: black man, email address not given
Subject: lucky not to look black
Date: 10/30/98
You all are truly lucky. No weaves, jeri curls, purchased braids, etc. Beautiful light skin. european features. No white cops.
The list goes on and on.
Name: tony, adamst@delcoremy.com
Subject: So, what
is your problem
Date: 10/30/98
I was surfing the net and came across this website. I have heard of biracial support groups, but you clowns take it two steps further: Bi-racial that can pass for white. Am I correct?
After I got off the floor from laughing. I had began to have a very sick feeling in my gut. You people are serious. You really think you have a problem. Trust me: you don't. Try being a DARK SKINNED black man in this country. I bet you can't hang for a week. Let alone 40 years. You will never have to worry about being a victim of a racist white cop "just doing his job". Being told you are not ready yet(for promotion) or that you are not a good fit. Being followed in the store. while shopping( ie; shopping while black), or DWB (driving while black) Being asked for two and three pieces of ID when writing a check or using a credit card, being looked upon in amazement when you AND your spouse visit her teacher at a parent teacher conference. Being eleveated to queen/king status in the black community for you all know we always put the lightest ones ahead of all others.
Don't take the following statement the wrong way, but sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I had your "problem" . Being light skinned and having good hair is an advantage. Be forever grateful for your gift.
Name: Stephanie, JesusMaid@aol.com
Subject: biracial baby in "white" family
Date: 10/30/98
Just wanted some advise...evidently, according to my lover, I am walking around with blinders on. He says that, as a white female, I have never been exposed to prejudice. BS! Being a *woman* has exposed me already...but I digress...
I am divorced after a 14 year marriage to a white male and had 4 very glow-in-the-dark white children {g}. Now my black (black?! - is that the politically correct word this season?)....anyway - my gorgeously African-descended love and I are expecting a child.
Has anyone been in this situation before? BTW - we live in the south and I have just found out from my 93 year old grandmother that my family members were slave owners...a grand and glorious heritage according to her... {sigh}...so the prejudice comes from the internal family factors as well as the external societal factors....
Please help...I want my baby to have all the advantages possible in this screwed up world!
Name: trennette conway, email address not given
Subject: Interracial Dating
Date: 10/29/98
I don't understand what the attraction is between people of different races. I personally would not date a white or hispanic man. They don't offer what I think every Black female needs; STRENGTH! Any race other than Black I could never find attractive. I think interracial "daters" are mixed up and are infactuated just by the notion that they're dating someone out of their race.
Name: Rudy Jones, djones@unionlabel.org
Subject: Identifying In
Date: 10/29/98
It seems I have finally discovered the community I fit into. I ambled over here after reading the work of Raza. I wish to thank her and everyone here for reaching out with her--and your--essays.
Name: Krista, Luvcatssss
Subject: Advise
Date: 10/26/98
I am a 27 year old African American female who teaches elementary school. I was just wondering if I could get some advice from other light skinned women like me. Both of my parents are mixed, and I am married to a very wonderful man who happens to be white. We have been married for 3 years. However, I need some advice re: how I am treated by other African Americans at my job In short, I am treated as though I do not exist. One group of women will sit & whisper when I am around. At times they will laugh out loud whenever I am in the room. Although they could be laughing at something that has nothing to do with me, I feel very uncomfortable. One on one the women are fairly nice. However, when they are in their group, they hardly have 2 words to say or talk to me in a very cold way. My husband has told me that I am a very beautiful woman & that part of the reason is probably jealousy. I just don't know what to believe. This happens every time I go to work. My other co-workers do not treat me in this manner. Even the African American males are very friendly. I could use some advice. I have a very bubbly personality & am not the type to start an argument. I get along well with everyone at my job except these women. I would appreciate any feedback or suggestions re: books about this issue.
Most Sincerely, Krista
(Modersator's Note: Krista, your email address above is incomplete. Please send the correct address to me for posting. Press my name to reach me quickly - Juanita.)
Name: mommy, email address not given
Subject: Raising a bi-racial child
Date: 10/26/98
I am the mom of a beautiful,smart,funny,affectionate little girl who is bi- racial. She is not adopted. During my pregnancy I had alot of thoughts and fears about having a child of 2 races in this society. I am not at all prejudice and I can't understand why people are. There is so much wrong in this world, why do people care about other people's skin for? This whole thing infuriates me. I do not raise her as a black or white person, just a person. I try to teach her respect,manners, love, and to enjoy and appreciate the life God has blessed her with because she only gets one. The day I gave birth to her was the one day of my life that I made the most perfect, gratifying choice. I would never trade her or change one thing about her-especially her gorgeous color. So I say to you, I will raise her as a strong individual, and I can only pray that people open their eyes, but for now we will never accept this foolishness in our lives, our lives are too short and too precious to waste. Thanks for letting me say my peace.
Name: "monique ", email address not
given
Subject: Re: A.D. Powell and her " facts "
Date: 10/23/98
To A.D. The one drop rule ?? Who and what world have you been living in ? Why do you think many African American look the way they do ? How DID they become that way ? Black slaves did not come from Africa with aperm Kit nor did they come with skin tone cream to lighten their skin. Our White Slavemasters had children by their slaves and their physical characteristis was ( and still is ) passed on to many Blacks and other minorities. What make you think that Black people cannot have white features ??? Just because a Balck person have straight hair and ligt skin does not always make them bi-racial. A.D. You need to decipher what biracial is , learn more about black people , and their past and thier present. Reading your bulletin, either you're not as cultually educatedas you may want internet users to believe you are and the last time I checkedmy family , THEY ARE PREDOMINATELY BLACK!!! We have non-blacks in our family but they are related to me by marriage. Oh by the way, I'm a full grown adult in her late twenties... so much for being a " kid ". Tsk! TsK! TSkK
(Moderator's Note: Monique is referring to A.D. Powell's submission dated 9/5/98. See July through September Letters and scroll down to the appropriate date to read Ms. Powell's entry.)
Name: lisa, email address not given
Subject: identifying your child's race in a bi racial relationship
Date: 10/22/98
i am a native american indian who is currently pregnant for a white male. i am wondering what the child would look like. the father has green eyes, and blonde. i as a native american would claim the child to be native american, after all white people calm to be native american.
Name: Alissa R. King, alissarking@hotmail.com
Subject: In response to KADT
Date: 10/15/98
I fail to see why you feel you are so apparently knowledgeable on the subject of biracials, enough to tell us what we can and can't think about life in general. It is unfair to say that all of us are screaming that the rest of the world is being discriminatory against us. I am sensing a tad bit of hostility on your part, noted by the continuous caps locks thoughout your post and I just wonder what exactly your problem might be. No, you cannot yell and say that we must stop crying when people call us names or comment that we are not African American or Caucasian (or any other mixture of races). I am a balancer, right smack dab in the middle of two races and I'm not screaming that life is SO horribly tough; I'm merely saying that life isn't easy and it isn't easy for African Americans (or any other minority group) either. In fact, I bet there isn't a single person in this entire world who would claim that life is a hunk of chocolate candy ALL the time. Don't yell at me or anyone else because you're angry for a reason other than we (or you) have control over. Impulsivity is not becoming and frankly, I don't appreciate it.
(Moderator's Note: Press KADT in the subject above to locate the submission.)
Name: Leanne, leanne3@hotmail.com
Subject: Response to KADT, "TO ALL BIRACIALS"
Sent 10/8/98
Date: 10/14/98
This is a response to a seemingly 'angry' email. I appreciate that you are optimistic in thinking that things are so easy to change; however, I think you may be a tad misinformed. First of all, there are other aspects shaping the life of a biracial person than just challenging the 'one-drop rule'. How do you explain biracial issues in Canada (where I'm from) where the one-drop rule does not have the same significance but where issues of biraciality are just as complex. Second, there is more to 'issues of biraciality' than changing the categories of 'race' on census forms and the like...in other words..we need to challenge why it is that we need to identify ourselves as one race or another. Moreover, as we enter an increasingly global world, 'racial' mixing is becoming more the norm. In this sense, people are not just BIracial, but are multiracial...how can we account for all aspects of one's identity without denying the other important racial/ethnic components? You seem to forget or not realize that there are deeper concerns and issues involved in any discussion of biraciality. Although I cannot possibly list them all here, I wish to point out one or two intances. For example, understand that we have all been socialized to feel a need for some sort of recognition of commonality and that in a world where 'race' has taken on such a historical and social significance, people of mixed race find it difficult to identify with racial groups or along racial lines. Race and ethnic relations (particularly in North America) have a deep-rooted history. If you want to challenge anything...look at the historical, political, economic and social conditions shaping the way we think and understand that change comes from understanding WHY it is that we feel we must have an identity located along racial lines or why we must identify 'Difference' and differentiate ourselves from others on the basis of a biologically INSIGNIFICANT category of 'race'. Also understand that our surroundings (who we live with, who we associate with, our communities, our social experiences etc...) are fundamental in shaping how we see ourselves. Some may deny this fact, but context is one of the most significant factors in understanding who we are and that we tend to identify ourselves in relation to what we are NOT. Also, ask yourself what it means when our hair texture, skin colour etc becomes a 'fad'. How should we feel being the flavour of the month? I'm not just talking about biracial people. Rather, I'm criticizing our need to appropriate an 'exotic' look as being cool when we have no understanding of where that 'look' comes from, what its cultural significance is and how we diminish its origins by slapping these exotic looks on the cover of magazines for consumeristic purposes.
I don't want to drone on and on...but this is just a few of an infinite amount of questions we need to consider before we criticize some people's very real need to understand their biracial existence. Don't be too quick to judge.
(Moderator's Note: Press KADT in the subject above to locate the submission.)
Name: Jamie, borrazzoj@post.uwstout.edu
Subject: Bi-racial family member
Date: 10/12/98
I am hoping for some advice and/or encouragement. First off, I am white, and so is my sister. My sister has two white children and is expecting a third child, whose father is black. I have one daughter, who is white. There are no other children in my extended family that are bi-racial, we live in a predominantly white area, and my family tends to be somewhat racist. In addition, the father will not be involved in the child's life. I am concerned about a number of things. What can we do as a white family to give this child a connection to his/her black heritage? How can we deal with racism when this child experiences it? What can we do to help our parents deal with this situation in a way that will benefit the child? What other issues and/or advice can you think of? Obviously my sister and I are very close, and we are trying to learn and deal with this issue early to give the baby the best possible circumstance in which to grow up.
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Locating Tracy Baton
Date: 10/11/98
I need to ask you a question about your submission before I can post it. Please contact me with your email address by clicking my address in this message. I will not post your address if that is your desire.
Name: KADT, email address not given
Subject: TO ALL BIRACIALS!!!!!
Date: 10/8/98
FIRST, IF YOU ARE BIRACIAL, STOP GETTING AFFENDED WHEN PEOPLE STAIR, WHEN WHITES CALL YOU "NIGGER", WHEN PEOPLE LAUGH, OR WHEN YOU FEEL AS IF YOU RECIEVED A JOB BECAUSE OF AN AFFIRMATIVE ACTION QUOTA OR HANDOUT. SECONDLY, STOP CALLING YOURSELVES BLACK, WHEN YOUR FATHER IS BLACK AND YOUR MOTHER IS WHITE, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT!!! YOU ARE BLACK AND YOU ARE WHITE. I'M SICK OF BIRACIALS WHINING JUST STOP THE F-ING MADNESS. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELVES, IF YOU WANT TO CHALL ENGE THE "ONE DROP" CONSTITUTION. DO IT!! WRITE TO YOUR CONGRESSMAN OR PRESIDENT AND CHALLENGE THE LAW. TELL THEM THAT WHEN YOU FILL OUT AN APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT, THEIR NEEDS TO BE MORE THAN ONE OPTION THAT APPLIES TO YOU, OTHER THAN BLACK. WHY NOT BIRACIAL??? THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE!!! IF YOU ARE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT PREJUDICES, CHALLENGE THOSE WHITES THAT CALL YOU DEROGATORY NAMES AND TEACH THEM, DON'T WALK AWAY. THIRDLY, DON'T GET UPSET WHEN A BLACK WOMAN TALKS ABOUT YOUR CURLY FAIR HARI AND LOCKS, BECAUSE FOR YEARS WE HAVE BEEN SCOLDED AND RIDICULED, BUT NOW IT'S A FAD. TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHERE WE COME FROM
Name: Tracy Baton, email address not given
Subject: Racial identity of our children
Date: 10/8/98
I have two mixed-race daughers. One of them is very fair and looks white. The other is darker and looks "mixed" or black. All in all they look very much alike to me. Their smiles, the shape of their eyes, shape of their faces, mouths their hair, are all very much alike save color. I don't spend too much time worrying about what "race" they are. On the other hand I would be dishonest not to say that other people really worry about it.
It astonishes me how important racial idenity is to people. Many people are willing to abandon the rules of polite society because they can not figure out what "race" my kids are. They will stop me in the grociery store or on the bus to ask "is she adopted?" or "is she black or white?" or "where did you get a white baby?".
In the end parents don't identfy their children, children identify themselves within the context of the socitey. No matter what I think they will learn all kinds of lessons from the words of their friends and neighbours.
My husband and I think that our girls are the best thing that ever happend to us and very beautiful. I think that the world will think that they are sisters that are two different races. I don't like it and I try to give them tools to deal with it but I can't turn away from that hard truth.
Name: Samantha, samanthg@subr.edu
Date: 10/07/98
Subject: Lucky to look Black?
I am a dark browned skinned female, and I am proud of my color. But, I feel that my color has alot to do with the way I am treated. If I am around Caucasians, especially women, they will try to walk away from me or hold their purse close to them on an elevator. I have a lighter skinned friend, and things like this never occurs to her. It seems that I am more feared because I am darker and that other people may seem more comfortable with a lighter person. Also, with the fellows, they will turn a whole 360 degrees to look at a light skinned girl, and won't give me any play at all. And don't let the light-skinned girl have long "good" hair, she will have a whole flock of guys approaching her. I am not worried about it, but it disgusts me to see that no matter how good of a person I am on the inside, people still see the outside of me as being a dirty "black" person. It also disgusts me to see that the ideal beautiful black female is light-skinned with long hair. What about us dark sisters? I am doing a sociology paper on this topic, so if you have any comments or any remarks about your feeling discriminated on because of the tone of your skin color, please feel free to write me. Thanks.
Name: Angie, abolser@hotmail.com
Subject: Growing up biracial
Date: 10/5/98
Hi. I am a 20 years old. White. I am engaged to a black man whom I love dearly and would give my last breath for. Of course, with most marriages, comes children. I was just wondering how hard it was growing up a biracial child and how can I help my future child to deal with the everyday remarks and comments of being biracial. I am from a small town with no blacks and my fiance and I plan to build a house here. Is there anything I can do to make my child feel more comfortable?'
Name: Cristina Sierra - Mundo, cristina@universal-net.com
Subject: To Mrs. Juanita Brooks
Date: 10/5/98
Hi, I wanted to check in and notify that my e-mail address has temporily changed and the old one will be up in a couple of months. I hope that everything is going great !! Also, another little news flash is that I am pregnant, yes My husband and I are going to have an addition to our family. I am 12 weeks and we are both very exited. Please keep us in your prayers. God Bless you.
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Locating member Julia Cummings
Date: 10/4/98
The email address that you submitted is Blanche_25. This address is incomplete in that there needs to be an ending after the number 25. See other addresses at Letters To The Group at this web site for examples. Please send to me a correct email address by clicking my address in this message. Thank you
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Locating Michelle D. Childers
Date: 10/4/98
The email address that you submitted is incorrect. A personal email that I sent to you was returned. Please send to me a correct email address. Thanks.
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Locating Members of My Shoes
Date: 10/1/98
I need current email addresses for the following members of My Shoes: Ruth Alexander, Erika Dalton, Lorenzo Gonzalez, Jessica Lake, Marie Recupero, and Leesa. If any of these individuals read this message or if any members know how I might reach these individuals, please contact me. Thank you for your assistance.
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Message For Member M.A.
Date: 10/1/98
Would member M.A. please contact me with your email address. It will not be given to any one else if that is your desire, but it will allow me to contact you a few times a year when I need to give to you information about the group. To send a note to me, just select with your mouse my email address next to my name above.
Name: Name not given, Kazukai@aol.com
Subject: Cultural competency
Date: 10/1/98
I am doing a workshop on cultural competency with youth and crises as well as writing a manual for working with diverse youth populations in a domestic violence shelter setting.
I would like to include information from biracial people about their ethnic identity,the ways that racism, and internalized racism, works in their lives. What I am looking for in particular is a way to make the statistics about race relations and the facts about being supportive and interrupting racism to be more real by having personal stories.
What I need is the answer to the question "when was the first time you were aware of race, as a child." "When was the first time you were aware you were 'different' ethnically then the people around you?" "If you witnessed domestic violence violence in your family, did your ethnic identity play into your experience?" "If you were raped was their a racial element to either the experience, the way you felt about the experience, your recovery?" and "If you sought help of any kind from professionals, i.e. counseling, DV shelter, advocacy, etc., what did you need to feel supported? did anyone say anything ignorant to you? what was it?"
I need all of those to be answered from the perspective of when you were young, incidents that happened after college do not play into the research I am doing.
If you have questions or answer please e-mail me @ Kazukai@aol.com The workshop is on October 17th and the manual is a work in progress that should be done by the end of the year.
thank you
