Adult
Letters
October through December, 1999
My Shoes is a forum where we can meet other multiracial individuals with a white appearance and express our thoughts and feelings.
Adult
Letters
October through December, 1999
My Shoes is a forum where we can meet other multiracial individuals with a white appearance and express our thoughts and feelings.
This page allows members and non-members to ask questions or comment on anything they wish related to the mission of the support group. Help the support group grow by talking to group members, by contributing to discussion topics, by sending your personal story, and by posting announcements on the bulletin board. Join us!
To send your questions or comments press 
Letters:.
Name: Sara Ortega, svrv333@yahoo.com
Subject: White/Mexican
Date: 11/17/99
I am a freshman at Loyola Marymount University, and I have recently
begun a project on biracial identities. I am specifically looking to
interview
people of White and Mexican decsent, but stories of white and other
Latino mixes are greatly welcomed. Please respond soon. Any other
information such as internet sites, books, articles, or films would
also be
appreciated. Thank you for your help.
Name: Katie Collins, collinskatie@hotmail.com
Subject: Not odd, but special
Date: 11/14/99
I guess you could say that being involved in the bi-racial world is new to me. My husband is African American, and I am Caucasin, and we have just been married 5 years. Our son who is a beautiful part of both of us is 2 1/2 years old. The way I look at our life, and our son, is that he will have the best of both worlds there are so many benefits from both cultures, that he can obtain. My prayer and hope for him is that he realizes being bi-racial, doesn't make him odd, it makes him special. When he turns school age, I believe he will have the understanding, that my daddy is one color, my mommy is another, and I am so special I am even another color, realizing in fact that God loves all people, no matter what color they are. I find it a sad occurance however,that there seems to be a lack of resources for teaching young kids the appreciation of all races. But, especially books designed for bi-racial children, I believe if this void could be filled, it would take alot of stress off parents and teachers alike. If you think this is a good idea, or if you know of some resources already, let me know. May God bless and keep you all, and may everyone who reads this realize that you are special and valuable!!!!!
Name: Gary B. Larson, garbl@home.com
Subject: Words can and do break bones
Date: 11/12/99
I'm writing to tell you of a commentary I wrote last April 24 after the killings in Littleton, Colorado. It's on the Web at http://members.home.net/garbl/writing/comment.htm. And attached to it is a poem written in 1991 entitled, "My Shoes." Neither of the writers is biracial, but the thoughts and feelings expressed might be interesting and perhaps useful to members of your organization.
(Moderator's Note: Gary's essay is worth reading.)
Name: Alicia Sanchez, asanchez@wellesley.edu
Subject: 4th Annual Mixed Race Conference, 2000
Date: 11/10/99
My name is Alicia Sanchez and i'm a student helping plan the 4th Annual Pan-Collegiate Conference on Mixed Race Experience. It will be held April 14-16 at Harvard University. Two student groups are working on this project. Wellesley College's FUSION and Harvard University's HAPA...(both are organizations for people of mixed race/heritage) First and foremost I would like to informally invite any of you who are interested to be a part of this conference and/or attend the conference.
Registration material will not be out until January, as we are still in the process of finding speakers for the conference. We need concrete information as to who will be speaking/holding workshops etc. in order to make our registration and invitations. I will keep you posted on more detailed information. Also, MAVIN magazine will be publicizing in their next issue and we expect to also have a website up soon.
So if you are interested in attending, can suggest speakers/performers, etc. Can suggest workshop topics Can suggest know anyone who is interested in holding an hour workshop on a subject that pertains to the Conference's purpose (ie. Interracial dating, Trans-racial adoption, etc.) Or would like to donate money to this cause (since we are working with limited school budgets to bring authors, speakers, and famous bi/multi-racial people to this conference) please reserve the weekend of April 14-16 2000 and email me back as soon as possible for more information. Thank you so much for your interest and support.
Name: Stephanie Shryock, Shryock24@freedom.usa.com
Subject: Family Struggle
Date: 11/8/99
My son is "mixed". I am a white single mother. His father is also mixed his mother being white while his father is black. I am currently dating a black man that is from Africa and was wondering how do I deal with the issues that come up? My son has asked me that since he is black why is he light-skinned? My son is not so much lightskinned just my boyfriend whom he considers his father is so dark. I think it is beautiful to be black but my son only has a few characteristics. I try to tell him that we are all mixed. I am for instance Irish, French, And Italian. So he is part of that also. He is only 5 1/2 yrs old and already people in his school are making a difference...He was playing with some kids at the park and their parents came up and told the kids they had to leave because they did not want their kids playing with a nigger...Now little did they now my son is 3/4 white..How do I tell him how stupid these people are?
Name: GNPrall, thepralls@thedam.com
Subject: My thought's on being a half-breed.
Date: 11/3/99
I recently found this page and I found the situation applies to me. I'm half White and half Navaho. I've been told I look like I could be French, Italian, and even Greek. I think it's great to be a half-breed. I have the background of two societies and cultures. We can be the connection between the two. I consider myself both and neither. I am just an American, that's my answer when the "What are you?" question comes up. Everyone has a little something in them so I don't really understand what the big deal is with some of the so called "full-blooded" people. Be happy with who you are, bot what you are.
Name: donisha, windows48@yahoo.com
Subject: biracial
Date: 10/29/99
i'm really trying to understand why nor the black or whites accept anyone of diffrent backgounds? we are all god's creation
Name: julius, jrdaman@webtv.net
Subject: Being mixed leaves you alone!
Date: 10/23/99
If any of you like hip-hop, try to find a copy of Chino-XL "Here To Save You All"! This album has songs that show the frustration of being mixed! On track 3 "who am I" He breaks down what it was like for him, as he grew up with his black mom in a white neighborhood--got rejected ultimately--moved to a Northern inner-city--and got rejected by blacks as well! I could really relate to this, because I have went through it too! See, when I was young, I lived with my white mom in a "ok" white neighborhood (not ghetto--just a step above). Well anyway, I was the kid who was always picked first for games like soccer,football etc...and I thought life was great! That is until My mom commits suicide (I was 9) and I move in with my black dad and mixed brother. Everything was different! Almost everyday a "brotha" wanted to test me it seems. I made black friends pretty easily, but only a few. Now I would describe my appearance as truly "mixed" looking! I have very fair skin, yet a wide nose and big lips, yet almost caucasian type curly hair. Therefore--even in appearances-- neither side felt "right". Te problemmixed people have is that we have to constantly adapt to our surroundings, lest get labeled a "jiggaboo" or "half-original" or "honky". The way we adapt is like the old saying, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". Black people don't have to adapt when around white people as much as mixed people because black people have a "Identity" that is lacking with mixed people. White people don't really need to adapt when around a group of black folks, because black folk have usually determined that that guy is just another white guy but not one of us. Mixd people have the black and white in them, so they then have to decide which side of the coin will they show! The white side, or the black one? What we usually do is show the "black" side when around black, and show the "white" side when around whites. If you re around both at the same time, you probably act the way that you get the best reaction from. For example, If I am at a school I will seem more black, because my friends are black, and vice-versa! It may seem to others who don't understand as being "fake", but it's not, thats just how it is! The reason I think for this is simply because there are not enough mixed people in a school, neighborhood, bar etc.. to hang out with! Humans by nature are socially dependent creatures! If we were to remain alone, we would be outcast, and sometimes we truly are no matter what! On a side note--I did a search last night on the net for "mixed people" and got a very small number as comared to when I searched for "black" "white" "asian" "homosexual" so even on the net, we are barely even recognised! (This is the only site I found worth anything about mixed people!) I am not all bitter though, I feel as though we are the pioneers for a new race in America. We already have some great examples of great mixed people in sports and politics (Derek Jeter, Colin Powell, Tiger Woods, Robert Smith etc...) But where are the rest of us?! I do believe in evolution, and the mixed people are just another part of human evolution im my eyes! We are the true embodiment of racial harmony, and we need to be heard a little louder! (Ever notice that most mixed people, like myself, usually just keep to themselves?) Please respond if you have any thoughts! later.
Name: 117, email address not given
Subject: Walk in the other's shoes
Date: 10/18/99
I'm a black female with mixed raced ascendancy: my grandfather and aunt could have easily passed to the white world if they wanted to, but did not. Throughout my life, I have seen the hypocrisy , jealousy and fear between both the white and black worlds. I get the constant "i'm not trying to offend you, S. but I think blacks..." speech from white folks and "white folks always have it easier than black folk" schpiel from blacks, even though many of my white friends come from poor families. I feel that jealousy and deluded assumptions of color privelege cause these issues; whites feel that balcks can always play the the victim card to get what they want, blacks think that having a light skin tone means you will always have an easy life. While unfortunately some of this is true, some of it is not. I believe both of these "enemies" should walk in the other shoes...
Name: Leukemia "Nikina" Mounce, nmounce@hotmail.com
Subject: Who am I and why?
Date: 10/17/99
Hello my name is Nikina I am a freshman at the University of the Virgin Islands. Recently, I recieved a research paper due November 29,1999 in my social science class. The question is Who am I and Why? Discuss this question form a historical, sociological, and cultural point of view. I am biracial, my mother is white and my father is black(whom I have never met before). I was raised by my mother under all european views. I have no clue where to start this paper, my real problem is leaving a part of me out of my paper. I don't want to fell as if that part of me isn't important. If anyone has ever asked themself this questions and found an answer please reply! Any and all sugestions are welcome.
(Moderator's Note: This is a great opportunity to discover your roots. Every student should be given this assignment. I think that people would discover that we have many commonalities. Kudos to your professor and best wishes with broadening your horizon.)
Name: Bismarck T., biz@www.com
Subject: thanks dr.
Date: 10/15/99
Thanks Dr. Juanita Brooks for all the good things that
you've done. I'll share my own story sometime .
(Moderator's Note: Thank you Bismark for your support.
I would love to hear your personal story and I suspect that others would
love to hear it, also.)
Name: Don, dirtmeyer@hotmail.com
Subject: interacial dating
Date: 10/13/99
I am aa 32 y.o. white male dating a black woman. My mother is beyond freaked out. I knew it would bother her some but i assumed that she woulld handle it well enough so that she could get to know my girlfriend and embrace her for the inteligent and beautiful person that she is. Except for this my mother is generally a very kind and loving person. She is almost 70 and has had very few dealings with blacks in her life. The really strange thing is thatshe seems most freaked out by the possibility of chidren. is this a common reaction????? What do i do short cutting my mother out of my life??
Name: Jen, jgoodey@bathspa.ac.uk
Subject: twins
Date: 10/12/99
Recently in the Uk there was aprogramme documenting several sets of mixed colour(ie one parent black one white) twins - one of whom was black the other white. Part of the programme illustrated how despite being twins they felt differently about who they were, their parents and heritage and who they should be - in some cases this had caused large negative differences. Do you have any comments to make? Are you one of a mixed colour twin who is the opposite colour?
How do you think non related black and white people can get on if some
twins of different colours find it so difficult?
Name: Jennifer Delatorre, jenniferdelatorre@hotmail.com
Subject: I'm half Mexican, half White, and I'm bothered by what
to identify with
Date: 10/11/99
Hello. I'm a 27 year old single mom in Milwaukee, and I'm half white and half Mexican. I was raised by my white mother until I was 16. I have light skin, dark brown hair, and have been bothered by what " racial category", I should identify with. I speak english only, and honestly, I do feel it would be easier to claim "white", on job applications, census,etc. Otherwise people expect me to speak Spanish, and be more culturally in touch, like appearance, attitude,etc.
Name: Lisa, lmi648967@aol.com
Subject: Response to JAF and Crystal
Date: 10/9/99
Crystal, I know how much these questions annoy you, its just plain rude to point out people's differences and continue to berate them until you get an answer. I have found that once I have formed a relationship with someone then I answer their questions, but we have to have that trust factor first. As far as strangers, don't answer. Or say, "I'm sorry I must not have heard you correctly." That puts it back on them and if that person is not totally dense he will probably get the clue that he overstepped his bounds. If not, just say honestly that it is a very personal question to you and you dont talk about it. I do it all the time. My mother is white, father is black, so I get them all the time. I just went into a new department at work and almost everybody was trying to peg me, some said she must be white, but she couldnt be because she doesnt "act" like them. Most knew better than to ask me, my demeanor is not overly friendly like that. However, it is frustrating being the object of someone's little "I bet she's got white blood game." People who only worry about that have issues and are best ignored. JAF, I can imagine how frustrating that may be for you, we (bi-racial) have gone through this to a certain degree. Keep your head up, you know the truth, I have a daughter who also looks white and will probably encounter the same things you have. I just tell her that the Black race is so beautiful because we all come in many different hues. Like colors of the rainbow.
Name: cee-cee, email address not given
Subject: Paula abdul..............
Date: 10/8/99
Today ( 10/8/99 ), I went to my community library to do some studying and to get some books for my young nephews. As I went to the juvenile ( children's/teen ) section of the library, I've notice the display of books they had on top of bookshelves. This particular library that I sometimes go to, caters to predominately Black patrons, had all the books of famous Blacks.........including Paula Abdul. Sometimes , it amazes me how people define race. Most Black people think she is Black, but she really isn't and some people do not want to accept that. Paula says that she is Jewish, Arab, French, Jewish, Latin and I forget the other . If she is not Black she can truly say thay she is multiracial. Although she is not Black, she said that she has no problem being called Black. Though I have no problem in how she identifies herself, there are people who do not want her to acknowledge her true self. That is why I think the defining people by race can be contradictory in many ways
Name: JAF, email address not given
Subject: Really Black?
Date: 10/5/99
Most of my life I have never felt welcome in the Black Community. Both of my parents are Black, but my mother looks White and my father looked mixed. Consequently, people constantly mistake me for being White (Italian, Greek, Jewish etc.) When I tell them that I am Black, they hae a real "simple" look on their faces for several seconds and want to know how could I be Black and be so fair with such pretty hair.
I was also raised in a predominatley White neighborhood and went to private schools. Because of all of these factors, I guess I was seen as an outsider and not someone who was really Black. This really hurt me as a child because I felt that you were supposed to make friends based on what you had in common and how comaptoble your personalities were. I was sadly mistaken!!
Additionally, I wanted to share an incident I had with a professor several years ago. The first day of class we filled out forms for him and one of the question on the form was about race. I selected "Black"(my professor was Black) and I never thought anything of it. I went to visit him during office hours and he started asking questions like, " I noticed you put Black on your form, are one of your parents White?". "I don't understand how you could be Black." and he went on to say that when people looked at him they knew exactly what he was and that if I ever went to graduate school I would have problems becuase people would assume I was White until they looked at me more closely and then would wonder what i was and that could cause problems down the road. I went to see him to get help for the class and left there feeling like a freak of nature.
On an uplifting note, I did go to graduate school and finish and nobody ever bothered me when I was there!
Name: crystal, email address not given
Subject: what are you
Date: 10/5/99
I am a 31 year old female and I have always been asked by people "what are you." I've replied human. People push the issue with "no, where are you from". I reply New York and I get "no, where's your family from". I find myself growing hostile and feeling totally alienated because of this. I work in a nightclub and I interact with all kinds of people. Perfect strangers think it is okay to ask this. Blacks, whites, asians etc. I'm thinking I'm having an interesting conversation when whomever I am speaking with is focused on trying to "peg" me, even when it's not even remotely part of the topic. I've asked people are you going to interact with me differently? Is the conversation going to change now? (why do you need to know) It really is a turnoff. Meanwhile, I'm thinking, are you switching to ebonics? Are you ready to proclaim your jungle fever? Disapointed that I don't speak spanish? I always feel like afterwards I am being re-acessed. Even with people I meet with for the first time, you can tell they are waiting for the right moment to ask. I'm met with astonishment at my "disclosure." I've been given incredulous looks and "wows", "stop lying". I find it insulting that someone would think I would say I'm something I am not. I find it tedious and boring to break down my family tree for all the curious onlookers. I am African-American never suffices. (But what else, you have to be mixed) My father is bi-racial (carribean & white) My mother had a black father but her mother is the product of an native american father and an Black and Irish mother.
I am tired of people insisting that I field this question and would welcome any suggestions as to the best way to deal with this. I don't know why people obsess about it so much. I thought as I grew older it would be easier to deal with but I find the opposite to be true. I know I am not the only one who feels this way. I am tired of being evaluated.
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Member email addresses
Date: 10/1/99
I need current email addresses for the following My Shoes members inorder to send an important notice. Your address will not be published with your web site submissions unless you state it on that submission, i.e., the address that you send to me will only be used for occaisional personal notices from me. Please select my email address above and let me know how I can reach you.
Carol Zwiebach-Sherman, Coretta Ball, CrisTina Sierra-Mundo, David Douglas, Eeika Valentin, Jerry Redmond, Jessica Lake, Julia Cummings, Kelly Murphy, Kim Kabagat, Leesa, Lorenzo Gonzalez, M.A., Marie Recupero, Ordania Ward, Raza, Ruth Alexander, Sarah Kominski, Scott Fleming, Tara Paulk, Tasha Wilker, Vickie Jackson.
Name: cee-cee, email address not given
Subject: Beauty and skin color
Date: 10/1/99
I have a 22-year-old cousin who recently relocated to North Carolina from Atlanta, Recently, she told her mom that she is dating a thirty something White man. She was telling us about him far as his preferneces in women. According to my cousin, he likes Black women, who are " cream-colored " . Ironically, she's my color ( honey-colored ) and has wavy black hair. She had to go through the trials and tribulations because many people thinks that is racially mixed, though both of her parents are Black. Though I feel that people have a to their preference of mate, I will admit that the idea of his preference for liking cream colored Black women, has me thinking. I'm not condemning his choice of women ( My cuz ! indeedy a good match ) but I wondered what would happen if my cousin looked like Foxy brown--a dark-skinned Black woman ( she's not all Black herself. Her dad is part Asian ) would he have viewed her beauty in the same matter ? With some white people, I notice that they view beauty in every race of women if they are fair complexioned or if they are my color. I often wonder what does skin color has to do with facial features ? Sometimes I think about this because when you say you like Black women but only like them to be lighter skinned, you're not really accepting me.--as a Black woman. To me, it's like you're saying " I'm trying to accept you, but you're just look a little too Black to show off to my family. " It's fine to have a preference( I like all races , all colors ) but I wonder have this guy ever dated a darker skinned woman, would he date one ?