Adult Letters

July through September, 1997

My Shoes is a forum where we can meet other multiracial individuals with a white appearance and express our thoughts and feelings.

This page allows members and non-members to ask questions or comment on anything they wish related to the mission of the support group. Help the support group grow by talking to group members, by contributing to discussion topics, by sending your personal story, and by posting announcements on the bulletin board. Join us!

To send your questions or comments press 

Letters:

Name: Nikovia Ramfjord, gsi05808@gsaix2.cc.gasou.edu
Subject: Affirmative Action
Date: 9/27/97

I really do not feel that biracial people should feel guilty about accepting affirmative action programs. I would want my son to take advantage of these programs if they are still around when he is an adult. Biracial people are still considered minorities. So technically, I think it still applies to them.

Name: Nikovia Milledge - Ramfjord, gsi05808@gsaix2.cc.gasou.edu
Subject: Personal Story

Date: 9/26/97

Hello everyone! My name is Nikovia, and I am living in Statesboro, Georgia. Maybe someone has heard of Georgia Southern University (it is the town inside of the university). I am a Black female married to a true blue White Southerner. How we ended up together is beyond me. I am pretty into African and Black history, and he is into Civil War history, chivalry, and all the other Southern stuff. But somehow we got together, married, and produced a beautiful boy who is eight months old. His skin color is white; his hair is straight without one bit of curl except when it gets wet. He looks so much like his father. Strangers have come up to me and asked me if he was my child. At first I was offended, but I had to take a good look at him. I never really looked at him because he is my child. Seen through the eyes of people who don't know us I could concede an element of surprise. My husband and I always held to the fact that to call our children one race (no matter the appearance) is to deny the other race. I always assumed that meant his race because I never suspected our child would be born as white as he is. I have so many questions about how to raise him. Most of our friend s are white because of our religion (Mormon). I do not want my children to be forced into a category others deem fit to place them in regardless of their appearance. I want to teach Bryant that he is both white and black, and he has the best of and worst of both worlds. When he becomes of age if he wants to choose one then he may. I know it will be hard for him, and I must give him strength.

If anyone has suggestions, resources on how to raise my son and give him the foundation for claiming both sides of his heritage I would welcome them.

Does anyone know of any childrens book depicting biracial families that are up-to date, and do not depict dysfunctional, abnormal families. Statesboro's selection is non-existant except for what I've ordered. Luckily my family hasn't been treated as anything other than a happy, healthy family by our peers both white and black.

Look forward to future commentaries.

Name: Belinda M. Paschal, acidbrat@aol.com
Subject: Dark-skinned multiracial people
Date: 9/22/97

Although I don't fall into the category of people for whom ''My Shoes'' was created, I find it an interesting, insightful read nonetheless. I am a multiracial person of darker hue who has gotten flak from blacks (so-called African Americans, who are mixed-race themselves) for wanting to embrace my multiracial heritage instead of simply identifying as black because that's what I "look" like. Does anyone know of any Web sites for people with my racial outlook. I've seen many articles, talk shows and heard much rhetoric about mixed people who are white-appearing or light-skinned, but rarely, if ever do I hear anything about those of us who are much darker than cafe-au-lait!

Name: anita f. justice, afj77008@mailashcc.uky.edu
Subject: heartbroken over an interracial relationship
Date: 9/16/97

I am a black and beautiful, very beautiful female, two years ago I dated a white male here in eastern, KY. The chemistry between us was wonderful. We cared deeply for each other,he had never dated outside of his race before so he was a little nervous, but he always treated me with respect. He was the most sensual, sensitive and passionate man i have ever met. I couldnt ever ask god for someone better. We spent almost all of our time together going out to eat sitting at home watching television,giving each other bubble baths.. This lasted for about two months and all of the sudden one day out of the blue he broke off our relationship and told me that we could never bee friends ever again. Alot of people said that his family was racist and thats the reason he left me. He told me the reason that he left me is because he is racist. Most people say move on and I have tried Ive dated two other men since that relationship and I have also given birth to a beautiful baby girl. I am still terribly miserable without him I dont know what to do. His family hates me and sometimes I think that he does to. My friends and his friends tell me to hang in there what is your advice?

Name: JENNIFER A. HARRIS, GIG.HARRIS@MAILCITY.COM
Subject: DON'T KNOW IF I BELONG TO YOUR GROUP
Date: 9/15/97

If the qualification is to "look white," I don't know if Ior my children would belong to your group. My background is Creole French, Indian and Spanish, and I am a member of the Indians of Allen Parrish; therefore I have an Indian look. I commonly am mistaken for either being from the middle east or being hispanic. My children are mistaken for either being hispanic or middle estern. So, we may be too dark for your group.

(Moderator's Note: My Shoes support group is open to all multiracial individuals with a white appearance, either with physical or behavioral characteristics.)

Name: andrea lubben, aklubbe@odin.cmp.ilstu.edu
Subject: my future kids
Date: 9/5/97

My future kids will be white and Puerto Rican. I love my white race and my futrue husbands race. My worry is how they will be treated in today's society. I want to create a very safe and loving environment for them embracing both of their racial heritage. I guess I am worried about how they will be treated in school and other socail settings. I don't want them to resent me or their father for not choosing someone of our own race, to make their childhood easier. If you could answer this question I would greatly appreciate it.

Andrea Lubben

Name: Deborah Slater, dslater777@aol.com
Subject: a theater performance entitled "Passing (as...)"
Date: 9/3/97

My name is Deborah Slater and I am a choreographer, writer, performer and director. I am creating a theater performance based on the concept of passing (or not). I am interested in gathering stories from people's lives to put in the piece. What set me on this path is that I am a Jew who does not "look Jewish". What follows is a brief description of the ideas behind the piece. I would love to hear from anyone with their questions, feedback or stories.

PASSING (as...)

One interesting effect of multi-culturalism is a growing awareness, through all parts of the culture, that one comes from somewhere and has a history and lineage which are not necessarily those of the dominant culture. For those who appreciate this, it begins to contract the space between us and the current them (whoever that is); for those who do not, what comes up is fear and hatred of the other.

In light of this perspective, we have gathered stories from writers and performers of different race/cultural/sexual and age backgrounds with the idea of describing what "PASSING" has meant to them. In some cases, it is of never being seen as Jewish; in another, it is historic stories of black clubs where one had to be lighter than a paper bag to get in hearing the unmentionable and failing to react to it; in another it is being born in America and seeing oneself as completely assimilated only to be reminded that some of the "others" look just like you.

Acting or thinking one way does not obliterate the line that has come before and arrives in you. Of particular interest is the notion of self-loathing, ingested into the cells like other lessons we absorb (like criticism from a parent that we continue to do to ourselves long after they are gone). From somewhere (the culture?, our parents?) we sense a fear of our own history, something that quiets us, forces us to hold our tongue, not so that we lie...but so that we omit.

PASSING deals with the obvious and not so obvious judgments the culture makes, which we then internalize and pass on ourselves and the masks we create and/or the denial we are in, in the face of those judgments. Art of the Matter will act as the producing body for Artistic Director Deboah Slater who is focusing her performance on growing up Jewish in America. One example currently being developed: In college, some of her dorm mates wanted to take her to New York with them so they could get a nose like hers (small) and lose theirs (bigger) which made them clearly "Jewish" (what about Semitic people and all those other guys they look like?). The fact that Slater was Jewish and nobody ever knew it made her privy to all sorts of remarks people would have been mortified to know she'd heard.

The questions being asked are: How do we hide? When do we hide? Why do we hide? In short, how do we all pass? From this performance we hope to make our audience aware of the price we each pay for maintaining illusory boundaries.

Name: Eleonore Dennis, eldennis@ionet.net

Subject: Comment on Ebony Articles

Date: Sept, 2, 1997

Hello Dr. Brooks, I am writing you to let you know how I feel about some things. I was really angry today at what I had read in some older magazines articles. I was trying to research any new information on biracial issues at my school library. And I really didn't find anything resent. However as I came across two articles from Ebony magazine titled " Am I Black, White or in Between?" August 1995, and "Neither Black nor White" Nov. 1996. These articles really surprised me in many ways. I find it difficult during this present day and time to find educated African-Americans so self-centered and out for themselves that the rights and privileges of others would be denied. These articles put down the need for a bi-racial or multiracial category. I did not know this. The reasons were solely political in regard to what African Americans would lose monetarily and politically speaking. It was stated that those seeking a biracial or multiracial category are trying to escape their Blackness, seeking better advantages economically, are trying to fit in more with White people (elitism), and how (we) lack understanding of how these added categories will affect the Black population. And what topped it all was the belief that this country would follow the steps of Apartheid if the category were added! How ludicrous can a person get? (Well maybe they are right with the attitude THEY seem to have). These articles even insinuated that the one-drop rule REALLY does apply. And that if you even LOOK a little "Black" well face it......that's what you really are! Only one good thing came out of those articles and that was they actually did interview a few biracial individuals that were for the category. But the articles still slanted against the idea of another category. It leads me to conclude that some African Americans still have the mind set of the dark ages. The comments that were made did really confirm a promoting of racism brought about the whites that oppressed the African American people years ago as well as otheres. I really don't think that author was even aware of it. And it really saddens and angers me. I wish I had read them earlier. I definitely would have wrote to them. They have no concept at all of what it can be like being biracial. I would like you to take time to read them if you haven't done so. I think you would find them interesting. Just trying to let some one special know how I feel. *smile*

A woman on her soap box,

Eleonore

(Moderator's Note: You may wish to check out the articles listed on our bulletin board which can be accessed on the front page of My Shoes. Contributions of additional articles are welcome and can be made where the articles are located.

You will also find other articles about multiracial issues at the "This Just In" section on the Interracial Voice website. In addition, you will find other's comments about a variety of multiracial issues in this news magazine's "Letters" and "Discussion" sections. A focus of the Interracial Voice website for the past two years has been the 2000 census issue.)

Name: Mary Lyn, mercy7@juno.com
Subject: Are Melungeons welcome here?
Date: 8/27/97

Is this group specifically for people of Black/White heritage or is it open to people of other mixtures?

(Moderator's Note: My Shoes support group is open to all multiracial individuals with a white appearance, either with physical or behavioral characteristics.)

Name: Robert Webber, rjwebber@is2.dal.ca
Subject: Multiracial, Gay and Lesbian Identity
Date: 8/21/97

I am a PhD student at Dalhousie University in Canada. I am working on a dissertation which looks at the intersection of racial and sexual identity in America. I am trying to contact gay men and lesbians who are either in a mixed race relationship or who are multiracial themselves. I have two areas where I would very much like to hear your views and experiences. 1.) On the recent decision to have some recognition of multiracial identity on the next U.S. census. (Note: The government recognised mixed race marriages in 1967 but still does not rcognise gay and lesbian marriages or allow these relations to be acknowledged on the census.) 2.) On hate speech. Although this is not a new topic, I am interested in trying to understand this has affected people who are of mixed race and gay or lesbian. How has this intersection of identities affected both the typre of hate speech you have received and how you have attempted to deal with it. My email is rjwebber@is2.dal.ca Tel. Canada: 902-423-3440. Thanks.

Name: Johanna Esquerre, hje6636@student.health.ufl.edu
Subject: Great web site!
Date: 8/19/97

I just wanted to let you know that I enjoy this web site and all of its postings. I am a 28 y.o., biracial female (African-American father, Caucasian *Swedish* mother) who also looks Caucasian or Latino. Further, Dr. Brooks, I too am in a clinical psychology graduate program. So, just looking at your bio I saw many similarities (which was a nice surprise!). I am interested in receiving any newsletters (via e-mail or otherwise) and also wonder if there are any chat sites for and by biracial/multiracial individuals. I often have questions or comments that come up on a day to day basis that I would love to share in a chat site format. Please let me know if there is such a thing.

Thank you again for this web site. It feels strange to read about these individual experiences that are almost identical to my own. It's greatly comforting.

Also if anyone of a biracial background would like to e-mail me to share experiences/comments/etc, please do! (GEM715@aol.com or HJE6636@student.health.ufl.edu).

Thanks!! Johanna Esquerre

(Moderator's Note: See the web site Interracial Voice to locate a chat group. It can be accessed on the front page of this web site.)

Name: Karen Suyemoto, jaresearch@osprey.smcm.edu
Subject: Japanese-American Research Study
Date: 8/14/97

We are seeking Japanese-Americans from mixed Japanese and European/Caucasian backgrounds for participation in a study exploring your individual and familial experience, especially in regards to ethnicity, race, and culture. You must be at least 18 years of age to participate. Participation involves filling out a survey taking approximately one hour. Participants will receive $10 payment for their involvement and will have one to three chances at winning a $100 U.S. savings bond. To request a survey, please call Karen Suyemoto, Ph.D. or Pata Suyemoto, M.A. at 1-800-484-4933, code 0822 and leave your name and address. Or E-mail: jaresearch@osprey.smcm.edu. Karen Suyemoto is an assistant professor of psychology at St. Mary's College of Maryland. Pata Suyemoto is an assistant professor of education at the University of Massachusetts at Boston.

From: Jeff Hitchcock, jeffhitchcock@euroamerican.org

Subject: Article Submissions

Date: Tue, 12 Aug 97

The Center for the Study of White American, a multiracial organization, publishes a periodic newsletter (actually a 16-page hardcopy mini-magazine). This small but influential magazine explores issues of whiteness and white American culture in American society.

Our next issue will discuss the topic of whiteness in the multiracial community. How does MR identity challenge whiteness, what roles do monoracial and/or multiracial white people play in the MR movement, etc. Is MR identity just another kind of people of color, or does it straddle, and subvert, the "color line."

We are looking for contributors. Articles, letters, opinion pieces, poems. If you are interested, please contact me ASAP to discuss what you might like to offer. Articles can range from 300 to 3000 words, photos are a help. We prefer articles that make their point through human interest stories and personal details rather than philosophical and analytical discourse.

Jeff Hitchcock Director, Center for the Study of White American Culture (and also a speaker at the recent Multiracial Solidarity March in L.A.)

Name: Ramona E. Douglas, AMEAPRES@aol.com

Subject: My Shoes

Date: August 03, 1997

Thank you for posting my push for OMB support letters to your web site. This is still a time for action, not complacency--without proper tabulation of our multiracial numbers in all their combinations--our community runs the risk of being reabsorbed back into existing minority communities and lost again.

Ramona

Name: Tracy Cope, vergil@pop.erols.com

Subject: Geraldo Rivera Show

Date: July 26, 1997

Hello Mrs. Brooks,

I've been visiting your website since November 1996. I enjoy reading the different letters and comments in the dicussion section. I am a "black" woman who is married to a Caucasian man. Our children have a somewhat white appearance. I saw you on the Geraldo Rierva show. What did you think of the author of the book Nappy? (I forgot her name). Did you get a chance to talk with her off camera? I wonder what she thought of you. I thought she had a bad attitude. I remember her making a statement about it being alright to celebrate your whiteness if you are white but it's a bad thing to do if you're black or mixed. I'm not sure that she even distinguishes a difference. Is it a bad thing for Mariah Carey to acknowledge her white ancestry? What about Jennifer Beals? What about you? I've seen Johnny Spain on the Oprah Winfrey show a while back. He was reunited for the first time with his white brothers and sisters. It was very touching. I don't get to see Oprah very much but when I do, she frequently makes me cry! Maybe you and Charles M. Byrd should go on Oprah with the topic being "Multiraciality, What's It All About?". Well, that's all I have to say. I really enjoy your website. Thanks!

Tracy Cope

(Moderator's Note: I believe that it is important to acknowledge all parts of our heritage. Generally, those parts that we celebrate are related to positive life experiences. I also believe that it is inappropriate for any individual to tell me what I should or should not think or do, especially when that person has not walked in My Shoes. I would welcome opportunities to speak on the topic of multiraciality.)

Name: Ramona E. Douglas, AMEAPRES@aol.com

Subject: Urgent Alert

Date: July 25, 1997

The attached statement was formulated by the leadership of multiracial people on a national basis and was formulated as an answer to the recent interagency OMB recommendations. I hope you will give this your most serious consideration, possible endorsement and post it on your respective Web Pages.

Thank you in advance for your respectful consideration.

Ramona E. Douglass President AMEA, Inc

We, the undersigned organizations and individuals, support the historic preliminary Office of Management & Budget (OMB) recommendation to allow all Americans the ability to check more than one box when responding to the Race question on the upcoming 2000 Census.

-- We view this recommendation as a victory for Multiracial people.

-- We will continue to dialogue with the OMB as to the method to be used to actually tally these numbers.

-- We request that these numbers be tabulated and reported in a way that gives the same recognition to the group of persons who check more than one box as it does to the different monoracial groups.

-- To maintain consistency and respect for individuals who are both Hispanic and non-Hispanic, we believe that Directive 15 must include clear language that will allow for multiple checkoffs for this population as well.

-- Although we are pleased with the changes allowing persons to check more than box, our endorsement should not interpreted as opposition to a multiracial category that has sub-identifiers.

Name: Susan Graham, ProjRACE@aol.com

Subject: SHOWTIME, AGAIN

Date: July 21, 1997

Juanita,

I read the e-mail Nathan Douglas sent to you and I hope you will be able to join us in Washington on Friday. I am taking statements from people who really do want the multiracial idenitifer and would welcome your comments. More information is available at the Project RACE WEB site <www.projectrace.mindspring.com>. Let's let the federal government know that multiracial people exist and should be fully recognized.

Susan Graham Project RACE

(Moderator's Note: Statements need to be received by Thursday, July 24.)

Name: Nathan Douglas, nathandouglas@hotmail.com

Subject: SHOWTIME, AGAIN

Date: July 21, 1997

Well, it's showtime again. Now that OMB has made its recommendation AGAINST a distinct multiracial category or designation, we are entering the public comment or response phase. The focus of this phase will be a final hearing on Friday, July 25, 1997, which begins at 9:30 a.m. in Room 2154 of the Rayburn House Office Building. Is it possible for you to come to Washington, D.C. to attend this very important hearing?

Susan Graham of Project RACE will be testifying on behalf of the multiracial category, and we need a show of support for our shared position. If you are a TRUE SUPPORTER of a distinct multiracial category, either with or without the ability to "check all that apply," then we hope you will be there. Of course, if you can bring others who are in favor of this much needed change, that would be great, too.

Solidarity!

Nathan

P.S. Arrive early, because it is open to the public and seating will be limited.

Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com

Subject: Address Correction Needed for Kelly Murphy

Date: July 18, 1997

The email address that was listed on your inquires could not be used to reach you. I have been out of town since June 28. Your submissions to My Shoes have been posted. I will withhold your email address from the public if requested. Welcome to our membership.

Site Moderator

Name: Tammy H.J. Mukoyama, tmukoyam@ucla.edu
Subject: Biethnic Adults Needed
Date: 7/14/97

I am a Japanese-Mexican American graduate student in clinical psychology. My dissertation is focused on Japanese-African American and Japanese-European American biethnic adults whereby one parent is of Japanese descent and the other is of either African American or European descent. Involvement in my research is focused on completeing some brief questionnaires that will be sent through the mail. Once I receive the materials back I will follow-up to see if you have any questions or comments. Though I cannot offer monetary compensation, I would appreciate any help you can offer. If you are interested, please e-mail me your address and phone # and I will send you a packet right away. Thank you - Tammy Hiroko-Josefa Mukoyama

Name: Eleonore Dennis, eldennis@ionet.net

Subject: a new voice on Dalnet

Date: July 14, 1997

I hope that your summer has gone well. I am writing to inform you of my new web site. http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/8709 The purpose site will inform interested persons of the bi-racial experience in my life and provide information on various sources that would benefit the public. It is my hope that others can realize the positive and negative experiences that those of mixed parentage experience. Please drop by. I'll leave the light on for you. :))

Sincerly

Eleonore Dennis aka( TinaT)

Name: Eleonore Dennis, eldennis@ionet.net

Subject: a new voice on Dalnet

Date: July 08, 1997

I have decided to start a irc channel on Dalnet server. It is called #biracialvoice. My hope is that it will be a place people can come and share feelings, successes, disappointments as well as gain support for one another. I hope that is successful and I would like to have you visit sometime and share. See you there hopefully

Eleonore Dennis aka (TinaT, TinaZ, MsTinaT)

(enjoylife)

Name: Kristin Greenlee, kristin_greenlee@hp.com

Subject: Geraldo Rivera Show

Date: July 07, 1997

Hi Juanita! I was pointed to your web site by Deb Brown, a member. I am a white woman who is married to a biracial man and I wanted to let you know that I love your site! Thank you for providing it.

Someone on an email list mentioned the Geraldo show, but I was unable to view or tape it. I wonder if you have any idea how to get a tape of the program? I would be very interested in seeing it!

Thanks, kristin_greenlee@hp.com

Name: Santee, natirah@aol.com

Subject: Tan Americans of Natirah Ancestry

Date: July 03, 1997

Congratulations on your very special web page. We admire your courage and would like to say that there are thousands of native hybrids of color who share your concerns and life experiences.

Please visit the following web sites for additional information:

1. http://www.clinch.edu/appalachia/melungeon/melung.htm (Be sure to explore the Plecker story). 2. http://members.aol.com./Natirah/H74MX.TXT.html

Best wishes with your group and remember we are just an e-mail away. We hope your husband will not be offended by some of our tragic history.

Name: Daryl A. Iverson, diverson@mindspring.com

Subject: My Shoes

Date: July 01, 1997

It is wonderful that you have created this website for those who are able to benefit from it. I have a website that is about race relations. It attracts many people along a miriad of related issues. One such issue is interracial heredity. There is an associated IRC Channel on the DALnet system.

I dont know if youre familiar with IRC. It is an internet system of server that allow people to type back and forth to each other in realtime. I would love to begin a #MyShoes channel. I'd like have that channel point to your website and vice versa. The channel can be moderated or free. It can be secret or public. It can have a maximum number of praticipants and it can have a keyword entry system. I think your members would love to be able to I believe your members would benefit even more by being able to dialogue in this way. Im sure they would love an opportunity to chat with you monthly online too.

Please let me know if it would be okay. If you need more information please visit my website at http://www.mindspring.com/~diverson/bandw.htm

Sincerely,

Daryl

(Moderator's Note: Since I am only one member of the group, perhaps you should ask the other members if they would be interested in the IRC channel. Their addresses can be found in the Personal Stories section of this web site. Let me know the results of your inquiry.)

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