Adult
Letters
July through September, 1998
My Shoes is a forum where we can meet other multiracial individuals with a white appearance and express our thoughts and feelings.
Adult
Letters
July through September, 1998
My Shoes is a forum where we can meet other multiracial individuals with a white appearance and express our thoughts and feelings.
This page allows members and non-members to ask questions or comment on anything they wish related to the mission of the support group. Help the support group grow by talking to group members, by contributing to discussion topics, by sending your personal story, and by posting announcements on the bulletin board. Join us!
To send your questions or comments press 
Letters:.
Name: Name not given, biddy@mail.utexas.edu
Subject: Question
Date: 9/30/98
I am a current freshman at the University of Texas. Going around campus there is an array of cultures with there clubs. I am half black and panamanian(hispanic). I have always associated with both groups and have two questions to ask. The first is is it o.k. if I participate in both hispanic and black organizations? I am as black as anyone and as hispanic( probably more bc my family all reside in Panama) Secondly,under my fathers insistence have always "checked" black. However, I feel uncomfortable about that because I am not just black but hispanic and would like to be regarded as so. Could I start now checking other etc..?
Name: Nicole Ivy, Ivyn@river.it.gvsu.edu
Date: 09-29-98
Subject: Biracial
I'm biracial(black and white)and I am always mistaken to be latina or white. I came across this page because I am writing a paper for my college english class on interracial dating. I have become very surprised after doing some research at how people still are so small-minded. I have never encountered any kind of clash in cultures. My entire family is accepting of every race and has members of just about every race. I guess I just don't understand why people can't respect and learn about all cultures.
Name: Angceli, Angceli@aol.com
Subject: Bi-Racial Families
Date: 9/29/98
Hi everyone:
I am a college student, writing a on bi-racial families. My family is bi-racial but I would like some more input from other couples, whether married or not, on the pros and cons. Please write back.
Thanks.
Name: Alondra Island-Chavez, email address not given
Subject: Racial Identity of my child
Date: 9/29/98
I am an African-American woman married to a Latino man. I am five months pregnant with our first child. I would like to see a multiracial category added to the census. We plan to raise our child to appreciate both cultures. We have literature, art and music which represents our heritages. We want our child to learn and respect his African and Latino roots. I don't think it would be fair to expect him to choose one over the other.
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Message For Member M.A.
Date: 9/26/98
Would member M.A. please contact me with your email address. It will not be given to any one else if that is your desire, but it will allow me to contact you a few times a year when I need to give to you information about the group. To send a note to me, just select with your mouse my email address next to my name above.
Name: Debbie Estrada, debbieestrada@hotmail.com
Subject: My Son
Date: 9/23/98
I have a 6-year-old biracial son (black/Hispanic) he is truly my world. We live in a small south Texas town, very conservative and the majority of people are Hispanic. I commute to San Antonio everyday (about 30min) to attend college and work, I bring Sheldun to school here also, I found a catholic school, very diverse in hopes that it would be good for him. It is very hard on the both of us. He's dad is in Panama, he is in the military so I don't really rely on him to be a big part of Sheldun's life right now, and other than for this health care and his court order child support. As Sheldun gets bigger he is asking more and wanting to learn more about everything not only his color. I try to read books to him that might help, I have also thought about letting him talk to a counselor about his feelings. I really don't know what more to do, then just is there for him. Any advise for me?
Name: Harold D. Thomas, texan@tisd.net
Subject: I was a Negro in the South for 30 days
Date: 9/22/98
Fifty years ago, Ray Sprigle of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette posed as a black man to experience firsthand what life was like for 10 million people living under the system of legal segregation known as Jim Crow.
As he wrote in his 21-part series, "I Was a Negro in the South for 30 Days": "I quit being white, and free, and an American citizen when I climbed aboard that Jim Crow coach. . . . From then on, until I came up out of the South four weeks later, I was black, and in bondage — not quite slavery but not quite freedom, eiither.
To mark the 50th anniversary of Sprigle's work, which was first published in the Post-Gazette beginning Aug. 9, 1948, the Post-Gazette republished selected chapters from his accounts.
PG Online has compiled the entire 21-part series for publication, including an introduction by Post-Gazette staff writer Bill Steigerwald that looks at Sprigle's unusual reporting career..
The language and editing remain the same as when the stories first appeared.
I was a Negro in the South for 30 days.
Name: BW Gonzalez, wool233@mailexcite.com
Subject: Adding this site as a link to my own
Date: 9/22/98
I love this website. I am creating a website of my own and wish to add yours to mine as a link. Please let me know if this is acceptable to you and your group.
Name: Harold D. Thomas, texan@tisd.net
Subject: Some Important Upcoming Dates
Date: 9/21/98
Here's some information on upcoming Mixed Race Experience Conferences that may be of interest to you:
Colorlines in the 21st Century: Multiracialism in a Racially Divided World When: Sept 25-6, 1998, Chicago, IL for more information, email. Colorlines homepage.
Roosevelt University homepage.
Hapa Issues Forum 1st Conference (Los Angeles) expected turnout: approx. 1,000 When: October 17, 1998 for more information, email. Hapa Issues Forum Conference Homepage.
3rd Pan Collegiate Conference on the Mixed Race Experience (cosponsored by MAVIN) @ Wesleyan University Middletown CT When: February 6-7, 1999 for more information, email.
Name: Leanne Taylor, Leanne3@hotmail.com
Subject: Looking for info on Biracial identity
Date: 9/21/98
Hello! I am a 2nd year Masters student in Sociology at York University in Toronto Canada. I am presently searching for information on biracial identity and anything relating to beauty and the biracial self, the social construction of race and the like. If anyone has any information (academic or otherwise) I would be extremely grateful. I am also interested in participating in ongoing conversations with other biracial or multiracial individuals who would, perhaps, be interested in offloading problems, issues by discussing them with someone who may be able to relate.
Thanks so much!
Name: John, email address not given
Subject: AD Powell's Comment On Oliver Lu's Letter
Date: 9/19/98
Regarding AD's comment, it is not at all clear that Oliver Lu subscribes to the "racist myth" of the "light-skinned black." Oliver appeared to be quoting someone else - not making that reference on his own.
Now, regarding AD's point, this is indeed where biology and sociology/law have historically collided.
Name: Christina Harewood, DWF008@aol.com
Date: 9/18/98
Subject: Need for participants in study concerning biracial
adolescents
"Coping Skills of Biracial Boys as compared to the coping skills of Biracial Girls(In regard to their dual heritage). If you are between teh ages of 13-18 and would like to participate in this study, please contact me at DWF008@aol.com. A.S.A.P. Thanks, Christina Harewood
(Moderator's Note: Or if you know of anyone who would like to participate.)
Name: Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject: Locating Members of My Shoes
Date: 9/16/98
I need current email addresses for the following members of My Shoes: Ruth Alexander, Erika Dalton, Lorenzo Gonzalez, Jessica Lake, Marie Recupero, and Leesa. If any of these individuals read this message or if any members know how I might reach these individuals, please contact me. Thank you for your assistance.
Name: John, email address not given
Subject: Racism and 1960's "Counterculture"
Date: 9/7/98
Oliver Lu's brief reference below to "bohemian racism" reminded me of something: I came of age in the 1960s when "flower power", Haight Asbury, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and hippies, etc. were all over the media and in every big city and major college campus (on the coasts, at least). I lost count early on of the numerous and varied derogatory references to blacks by so-called hippies and "flower children", "progressives" and others of that ilk. "Spade" was their word for "nigger". ("Hey man," he said in his grass and/or acid-induced stupor as he tried to buy or bum more, "watch out for those spade dudes.")
Since as a class they were so smug in their dependent rebellion, I guess they (the hippies) felt librated enough to let their racism hang out, as it were. Perhaps it is not suprising that the outward "hippie" appearance (long hair, scraggly beards) today seems to be so often sported by some of the most primitive and reactionary elements in our country today. Or maybe it is just those who are most open about their views. But we have skinheads as well...so one shouldn't make too many generalizations.
Name: Alissa R. King, alissarking@hotmail.com
Subject: Response to Lynette Oribabor
Date: 9/7/98
I couldn't let a comment I read in your post go unresponded to. You mentioned that those who appear "Caucasian" will claim that identity while those who are darker with kinkier hair will claim they're biracial. How can you say that? I am multiracial and I look neither Caucasian nor African American and I don't claim to be anything other than Human. I find it deeply unfair to categorize people by their looks and then assume that he/she will claim one race or the other because it is easier. This world is not easy nor will it ever lessen with its pummeling forces of forced categorization. So, some humans may take "the easy way out," but many of us do not. If you need to create a new category for those of us who are happy just being alive or happy just being human as opposed to throwing our hues out as our defining factor, then please do. I'll be the first one in line.
Name: A.D. Powell, powell@danenet.wicip.org
Subject: Oliver Lu's letter of 8/2/98
regarding the film "Shadows"
Date: 9/5/98
Lu should understand that there is NO SUCH THING as a "light-skinned black" That's a racist myth. There is no such thing as "passing for white" if you are already as "white" as any other "white" person walking down the street.
By the way, why aren't Latinos ever confronted with their "black blood" or subjected to the "one drop" definition by hypocritical liberals?
Name: Mark A. Turner, mnlturner@powersurfr.com
Subject: A few things
Date: 9/4/98
I am a 37 year old male with what I think is a white appearance, at least thats what most people think. My dad is Jamaican and my mother Irish. A couple of experiences: I was at work with my dad once when A while fellow somewhat perturbed at my dad said to me "whoose that nigger you guys got working for ya". I simply replied "Thats my dad". He was speechless of course. I have also had the company of some white female dates who would say bad things about black men like: "I would never go out with one". Not desiring to drop a bombshell on such a person I wouldn't jump in and say: Well guess what, you're doing right now. I have always been extremely sensitive about been mixed. My parents could never bring themselves to talk about it for it seemed they just pretended it didn't matter. I am very glad to see others who struggle with the same things, And may I say that I feel very comfortable knowing that the leader of this group is someone who can relate to it through life experience. By the way I would be willing to send a photo and see some of others. It is so rare to see people who are like us. By the way how does one send you a photo?
(Moderator's Note: There are photos of some of our members in the section of My Shoes entitled Personal Stories. By pressing the button at the end of the third paragraph on the front page of Personal Stories, you will find directions about sending photographs along with a personal story that will allow you to become a member of our support group. There is no cost for joining.)
Name: Peggy Scott, peg_2000@hotmail.com
Subject: Voice of Experience
Date: 9/2/98
I am a single white female with 2 biracial children, ages 27 and 21, and I'll say it's been fun! I grew up in Jackson, Mississippi and moved to SanDiego in my teens. The person with the "Identity " issue seemed to be their father,so I raised them with all the love I could give; and kept in contact with their father's side of the family, and gave "my side" a new outlook on family unity. It takes an "entire" village to raise a family, and there is truth in that statement. My daughter has chosen to bond with the black sisters, my son chose "asian". Family geneology consists of black foot indian, fillipino,creole, black, and white. A person shouldn't have to "chose" anything,because we are all Gods children. My hope is for future generations to all be "color blind", and to teach at a very young age in the school system acceptance of all races.
Name: Matthew A. Kelley, mavin@aa.net
Subject: NEW MULTIRACIAL MAGAZINE
Date: 8/23/98
There is a new magazine dedicated to the celebration of the mixed race experience in America. The magazine, MAVIN, covers all topics of interest to multiracial individuals, interracial couples, and transracial adoptees. We are currently accepting submissions for our premiere issue, due out January, 1999. If you have academic style essays, personal narratives, poetry, fiction, photography, artwork, etc., that would like to see published in a national publication, please contact us. If you would like to receive a free informational newsletter about MAVIN, submit your full name and address to: mavin@aa.net
Thank you, and please show your support for your mixed race experience.
Name: Oliver Lu, rdfuchs@concentric.net
Subject: Film "Shadows" showing in San Francisco Sept. 14, 1998
Date: 8/21/98
The following is a description of the film "Shadows", playing at the Red Vic Movie House in San Francisco at 1727 Haight St. on September 14 (7:15 and 9:15):
"A portable 16mm camera, unknown actors improvising their roles, and gritty New York streets were the impetus for an independent film movement and a distinguished career for John Cassavetes. *Shadows* tells the story of a young light-skinned black woman who is mistaken for white and experiences racism in the bohemian world of Greenwich Village. The score by Charles Mingus lends to the realism of the downtown N.Y. scene.
Haven't seen it myself; thought I'd just pass it along
Name: Lynette Oribabor, folakeh@msn.com
Subject: Just wanted to leave a few words...
Date: 8/18/98
I have been scrolling down this page and thought I could maybe add my experience to the fold of responses. I am not biracial. I am black, African-American (and proud of it!). I am married to an African man, whose mother is Hungarian (White). I don't think I ever really dealt specifically with the ideas of the idea of biracial because I always believed that this is just a way of avoiding the real issue. My husband never denys that his mother is white, yet he sees himself as African and a black man and who I am to argue with him. I have met quite a few people who are mixed and it always seemed that they always mad a conscious decision to identify with one race or another and I definitely think it has to do with how you look. A very light skinned mixed person who can pass for white most likely will do just that, while someone who is darker skinned with kinker hair can cry "I am biracial" until the cows come home but it isn't going change the perception or the treatment. I think there is a way to accept both sides of you upbringing, without excluding your culturally upbringing. I am mighty pissed when I read of a white woman who says she is a 100% white, then claiming she is part black. Honey any day you want to really walk in my shoes and deal with what I deal with on a regular basis, come on. (I am so tired of the white guilt syndrome) Give me a break. Race is a concept. Culture and ethnicity is not. And I hope that remember that when you try to talk of some culturally Utopia, which does not exist in this country.
Name: GRL, GRL 911@aol.com
Subject: True to you heritage
Date: 8/18/98
My fiancee is half asian and half white. I am white. We have discussed having children and we are both open to the idea, but . . . He wants to have a Korean child. He thinks it is his duty to his family and to himself to not let his race become too "watered down." He has asked me if he can have a child with someone who is Korean as well as children with me, but I am not open to that idea. First of all, as a child of divorces parents, I hate the thought of this child's parents not loving each other and not being married. Second, I think it is entirely unfair to me because I feel it is a violation of the marriage oath. Lastly, I believe that a child who is 1/4 Korean can still be taught Korean culture, although they may not look asian. I'm confused on what to do in my situation, but the openness of your discussion has shown me that no matter what percentage you are, you can still be true to you heritage.
Name: Marisa, email address not given
Subject: What I am
Date: 8/16/98
I am a person, a product of love! Society is what catorgizes me as a white woman and my offspring as an interracial (mixed black/white) male.
Name: tonyg, tonyg@wayfm.com
Subject: future father
Date: 8/2/98
Just a quick note to say that as a future father of a biracial child I hope to deposit a healthy dose of backbone for them to put up with the world at large.Love is not blind,it simply looks for what is essential.What is essential is honesty,depth of character,charity,fidelity,humor(lots!),hope,forgiveness, faith. All of these qualities are not evident to the eye,yet are seen in a person's life. All of your input has helped me to remember to steer my children in the direction of inner honesty and a reluctance to allow others to (define) them. Thanks All I hope you discover that lovely thing about yourself that the world just can't do without!!
Name: Demetrius Franks Dumas, Liquidmail@yahoo.com
Subject: Being passed inside, by "passing".
Date: 7/31/98
It pains me that as a people, we, here in America, who have the blessing to have many countries and cultures living in one nation, where most are subject to having one or two, have not obolished indifference concerning pigment differences and culture variations. I believe what sickens my heart most, is that African Americans have not completely understood that the impotance of one's shade of flesh has only been used as a form of a social and economic tool to hinder the drive of an individual or individuals to succeed in a free market society. This has merely been a social, economic, and political move to immediately place the afflicted into random sterotypes, therefore reenforcing a constant battle within them to find their own identity.
No one has considered that we are in a place in time where in the past cultures have merged and created new ones. IE the Spaniards and the South American Indians, thus creating new cultures from both within, with new ways and customs being introduced by each within that merge. When this occured, Mexican culture was born with others to follow. This has happened throughout history since the dawn of time on all four corners of the Earth. No one has been excluded from this fact.
The exchange and mergence of race and culture has been. It will alway be, for humankind is subject toward change as any other aspect of nature, and should not be taken out of context by our need to be excepted, nor, as unfortunate as it may be, to exclude others within our great family of the Earth.
Name: Kelley Underwood, underwood.67@osu.edu
Subject: Thank you all! :-)
Date: 7/30/98
I'd like to thank all of you who have posted your stories. I am a student at the Ohio State University doing a paper about people who are biracial. As for myself, I am what would be called "white" but biraciality has become a big part of my life recently. I just recently became a "big sister" through the children's services agency in my area and my "little sister" is biracial. She is an adorable little six year old with light/tan looking skin, dark brown eyes, and way curly medium brown hair. One thing I could use help with is how I should best expose her to both worlds while still not make her choose between the two. Her mother is white and her father is African American, but he is no longer in the picture. She has a white older sister, and a brother and sister who are also biracial, but look black. (If you haven't noticed already, there are 3 different fathers here). Her siblings have just begun to notice color differences, but it doesn't really effect her yet. If anyone has any suggestions for me to help me help her to relish in both worlds of her heritage, please feel free to e-mail me and share. I welcome all letters! Once again, thank you all! Kelley :-)
Name: John, email address not given
Subject: Raza's
Query
Date: 7/29/98
Raza, your future child's father's genes and views are but a couple of the many factors that will affect your child's experience. YOU as the child's mother matter no less than the father. Also, where you live, your child's ego, how your child is taught to deal with others, and probably many other factors as well.
I speak from much experience (being multiracial and the father of an equally multiracial 8-year-old son), so I suggest that you not over-consider the race of your future child's father. Rather, focus more on his heart. Whether you choose someone mixed or "non-mixed" may matter to you, and that is OK. But it won't matter in the least to the newborn baby whose love for his/her parents is unconditional.
(Moderator's Note: To read Raza's query, scroll to 7/15/98 after selecting the subject above.)
Name: John, email address not given
Subject: white people of color -- Arab?
Date: 7/29/98
In his note with the above subject, James answered his own question correctly - many Omanis (and others on the Arabian peninsula) are a mixture of Arab, African and South Asian. The proportions vary from person to person.
I was in Saudi Arabia last year. There are many beautiful people of a variety of mixtures along the above lines.
Name: jen jones, jennyjon@ix.netcom.com
Date: 7-28-98
Subject: looking for biracial teens
Hi I am doing my doctoral dissertation on biracial teens. I am looking for biracial teens who may be interested in filling out a questionnaire which asks teens views of themselves, their families, friends and their ethnicity. The questionnaire takes about 30-40 min to complete. Please contact me if you would like a copy or for more information.Please include your address so i could air mail you a copy of the questionnaire. THanks for your interest.
(Moderator's Note: Click on email address to send mail.)
Name: Quendy, qraymond@macalstr.edu
Subject: Are there communities out there with a larger biracial
community than others?
Date: 7/28/98
The reason why I ask is because I'm interested in moving. I'm biracial and have spent my entire life in the Twin Cities, Minnesota. From what I've seen, this area has a pretty large community of biracial children and adults. Many people often try and articulate why this is the case, but I've yet to exactly put my finger on the real reason. Anyway, I enjoy seeing others who more or less look like me. It makes me feel comfortable and I love seeing tons of cute biracial children. However, this state is too cold, and I need more diversity in my life. I was recently discussing this with a friend, and he brought up something that I had never thought about. He said many other places in the US are not open and accepting towards interracial couples or their children. Do others find this to be true of their experiences?
Name: James, ramsey54@hotmail.com
Subject: white people of color -- Arab?
Date: 7/27/98
I'm excited to find this discussion, because it means that there are other people just like me. I've recently found out that my father's paternal line has Middle Eastern--Oman, specifically--ancestry, which helps explain why some of the people on his side of our family are dark-skinned.
Does anyone know what race Omanis are usually characterized by? Are they Arab? Is "Arab" a race? From what I've found online, Omanis are a mix of Arab, South Asian, and African, which I think is fascinating.
Thanks, and I'm really enjoying this discussion!
Name: Riana
Subject: Hello
Date: 7/26/98
I was reading through some of the stories of the members tonight and I laughed and identified with some of what was said by members, especially those mixed with Black and something else. I was also bothered by what was said by some members as well, but everyone has there own views and I can respect that, the ladies that were white and not mixed at all unnerved me a little when they referred to themselves as being "black" when thay are not at all. They can never know what it is to be black , in my opinion no matter who they hang with. But obviously that is something that they believe or else they wouldn't have said it.
I am glad that I joined this group because just by reading I see that I am DEFINANTLY not the only one, who was judged and disrespected just because of my race. I was also encouraged because alot of the member's are around my age and they have went through alot of the same things, being rejected by family and so on. I hope new member's join and I hope that this group can inlighten and heal others like it has myself. Thank you for seeing the need in this group.
Name: g. mitchell, user102992aol.com
Subject: bi-racial celebrities
Date: 7/24/98
though my greatgrandparents on both sides of my family are native-american i don't consider myself bi-racial but i have a bi-racial daughter that is mixed with white, italian, and hispanic and we have received only postive comments but i would like to include a list of people that a lot of people don't know are bi-racial it's kind of lone but it's very interesting;slash from guns and roses,ronnie spector,cleo lane,beethoven,elizabeth barrett browning,robert browning,j.edgar hoover,lisa bonet,lenny kravtiz,renee tennison(penthouse playmate),eartha kitt,foxy brown(rapper),faith evans,irene cara,sheila e,cindy herron(singer in the group envogue),lonetta mckee,halle berry,derek getter,david justice,mariah carey,mario van peebles,vanity, this is all i can think of right now but i would like to include some people who everyone think is bi-racial but there not;vanessa williams,the artist(prince),paula abdul,philph micheal thomas,lena horne,donna summer,latoya jackson,there's several more but i can't think of any. Anyone who can add to this list can email me. thank you so much for this page
Name: Sandy Rigsby, email address not given
Subject: Racial Identy of Children
Date: 7/23/98
I am the pround new mother of a beautiful 3 months old daughter. I am white and her father is Haitian. As far as putting her in a category I would put her in the "Human Race", who you are inside determines "you". People put to much on the color of one's skin we need to start and look at the person and teach them to judge only by one's inner-self not apperance. I will teach my daughter that God has blessed her with the best of both world's, and to embrace both culture's equally and be proud of who she truly is. To use her knowledge to help people who are ignorant to the subject understand.
Name: Audrey Smith, cesmith@ionet.net
Subject: Racial Identity
Date: 7/22/98
My name is Audrey Smith. I am the African-American side of a biracial marriage. I have a 3 1/2 year old biracial daughter. I logged onto your web site looking for information and ideas to help my husband and I prepare our daughter for all of the comments and questions about her race and background. I am sorry to say that I don't believe that this is the website for us. Everything I read in your web site seemed to be concerned with those biracial people with a "white appearance". What about those with more of a "mixed" appearance? What about those who have questionable biracial appearance? Not everyone who is biracial has a "white appearance". It would appear to me that a web site such as yours would want to assist all of those with biracial issues; such a husbands, wives, children, family members, etc. Not just those with a "white appearance".
Respectfully, Audrey Smtih
(Moderator's Note: My Shoes is a support group for a special population. There are other web sites that address more general issues and can be found on Links to Other Sites in the Bulletin Board section of this site.)
Name: Joe Richman, jkr@well.com
Date: 7/21/98
Subject: looking to profile a bi-racial teen
Hi, I hope it's okay to post this here. I am a producer for National Public Radio. I do a series called Teenage Diaries, where I give teens tape recorders and work with them to document their lives. I'm currently looking for a teen who is bi-racial, and just beginning to struggle with or figure out how to identify themselves. The purpose of the story is to profile someone who has a foot in two worlds - black and white. If you or someone you know might be good for this project, please email me and I'll send you more information. Thanks. Joe Richman - Producer, NPR
Name: Michelle East, poetgrl21@hotmail.com
Subject: How can I tell if my chial is Bi-racial?
Date: 7/21/98
My ex boyfriend, who is black, came to town and we got together. I was also seeing someone else at that time. He is part Portuguese and white. During that time i got pregnant. It was a matter of 5 days apart. I gave birth to my son July 4, 1998 and i am seeing resemblances of both of them. I am beside myself trying to figure out whose baby this is. The baby looks white so far. Are there features i can look for to determine if this baby is bi-racial. I am in the process of persuing child support, but i would like to have some idea before i name the father. It takes several weeks to get the test results back and i am afraid i am going to go mad before then. If this is something you could shed some light on or send me to someone who could, i would really appreciate it. Thank you for your time.
Portland, OR
Name: John, email address not given
Subject: Adoption
Date: 7/20/98
My reaction to the "mixed advice" alluded to in K Erwin's July 15 letter is as follows: I suspect (but of course have no way of knowing) that some people are wondering why you are so focused on adopting a child of such a specific and relatively rare (in the US) racial/ethnic background when it is not your own background. Are you seeking to adopt a child who just "happens to be" Asian/African - or are you looking for an Asian/African "experience" first - in this case via adoption?
There are children of many racial backgrounds and combinations of backgrounds for whom loving, committed adoptive parents could do a world of good. So if the focus of your love and commitment is a child who just "happens to be" Asian/African, that is wonderful. But if it is the child's ethnicity/race that is attracting you more than the child's natural beauty itself, then that is another matter.
Again, I have no way what is in the minds of you or your critics. I can only assume that your intentions are the best. But I do know that this world can be very cruel to children such as you describe, and that the "road to Hell is paved with good intentions". So, please, for the child's sake and your own, check yourself. In any event, I wish you and your family (-to-be) all the best.
Name: Kristen Albrecht, info@transracial-adoption.org
Subject: Transracial Adoption Documentary
Date: July 20, 1998
The TransRacial Adoption Group (The TRA Group Worldwide) is looking for transracial adoptees to participate in a documentary chronicling the 30 year history of adoptions in the United States.
If you are interested or know a transracial adoptee who might be interested, please contact:
Kirsten Albrecht, Esq., President The TransRacial Adoption Group, The TRA Group Worldwide, 709 Broadway Avenue, Suite 200, Los Angeles, CA USA 90291-3405
(310) 450-8739, (800) 835-8950, (310) 450-8839 fax
www.transracial-adoption.org
Name: John, email
address not given
Subject: Growing Up
Date: 7/17/98
Why does AD Powell seem to feel compelled to add gratuitous insults and personal attacks (e.g., "stupid", "ridiculous")to AD's otherwise often meritorious commentary and inquiry? They add nothing to AD's case. But they demean whatis otherwise a very civil and professional discourse on this site.
C'mon, grow up already!
Name: Raza, email address not given
Subject: Response to DelaSoul's Letter (7/12/98)
Date: 7/15/98
I disagree with Delasoul's comment that "generally white people do not accept those children as equals in the white community, and black people are starting to re-visit the issue as to whether such acceptance should be continued in the community." A myth has circulated for years that the black community has open arms for mixed children. There has always been a "do what I say, not what I do" approach because while the black community likes to say that it accepts mixed children, it only does so if certain criteria are met, such as (1) completely renouncing any claims to any non-black heritage, and (2) if the mixed person looks black enough, talks black enough and acts black enough. Black people have not just started to re-visit this issue -- it is simply being discussed more openly because of the increase in the number of people who are claiming a multiracial identity.
If the black community truly accepted those of mixed parentage website like this one and Interracial Voice would look a little different.
Name: K Erwin, lkerwin@texoma-ok.com
Subject: Seeking advice on biracial adoption
Date: 7/15/98
My husband and I, both caucasian, are interested in adopting an Asian/African American baby girl, but are getting mixed advice as to whether or not we are doing right by this child. Can anyone shed some light for us?
Name: Sarah Hespe, cyberella@start.com.au
Subject: Support groups in Australia
Date: 7/14/98
My mother is Singaporean and my father is Australian. I grew up mainly in Texas, Jakarta, and Singapore before finally settling in Australia. I have been unsuccessful in locating any groups for people of mixed race. If anyone knows of any, particularly in Sydney, I would be very grateful.
Name: Alissa R. King, alissarking@hotmail.com
Subject: Letter In Response to Anaki (7/7/98)
Date: 7/14/98
This is in response to Anaki's letter. Anaki - like you, I have met a man that I love more than anything else in this world. He too has been abused and knows not of the deep feelings I have for him. I may be like your girlfriend - set on existing in a label but trying desperately to rid myself of such a stigma. I don't think I have fear or bitterness toward that facet of my life, just a growing sense of frustration toward the rest of the rest of the world. I imagine, if you give your 'princess' time and patience, she'll show you all her love for you, rid herself of those bitter frustrations and accept you for your two worlds: the bright one and the shadowed one. Don't give up on her, love is hard to come by and a love as strong as yours sounds - a rarity. I'm positive she loves for all of who you are and all the wonderful things you will become. Take care.
Name: A.D. Powell, powell@danenet.wicip.org
Subject: "Mixed race" is not limited to "interracial" marriages
Date: 7/13/98
One reader expressed the ridiculous idea that she is not racially mixed (despite the physical evidence in her phenotype and those of her parents) because her parents don't call themselves by different racial classifications. Let's get this straight:
1) Child of two racially mixed parents = racially mixed 2) Child of two parents who "look white" = racially mixed white 3) A "white" parent or other ancestor does not have to be "pure" (i.e., negro blood free) in order to be "white" and pass on European genes. 4) "Multiracial" or "mixed-race" is NOT a description limited to people who are born from "official" interracial marriages. If your "black" father married a woman who "looks white," then she IS "white" and the marriage is INTERRACIAL. 5) "White" is also part of the "mixed race" continnum.
Name: DelaSoul, Delaso@hotmail.com
Subject: Best of Both Worlds?
Date: 7/12/98
I am an African-American with two black parents, one from Africa and one in America, who also has two black parents. And from perusing the logs, I think it is absolutely wonder that biracial children are encouraged to not have to select either black or white, and that they can finally choose both. However, it is a misnomer to state that they are really going to get the "best" of both worlds, because generally white people do not accept those children as equals in the white community, and black people are starting to re-visit the issue as to whether such acceptance should be continued in the community. I do think that for both sides that classifying them as both will alleviate much of the distress from either the black or white community, and it could possibly assist the biracial child in finding some acceptance within themselves, for I highly question that one can have the "best of both" worlds when many from both groups do not want biracial children to associate with them that contiguously. I also must state, rather candidly, that I know you will be thankful and overjoyed for your biracial child or your being biracial. Yet, I think it is awfully sad that parents place their children into such predicaments in realizing that this country is not about to change 100 years of race-base ideology even for the next 100 years. There would have to be a mass-overhaul of the entire system before such would occur, for I doubt that through non-violence that it will transpire. It would be a wonderful notion that all would be the same, regardless of background. However, there is no place on this earth that really has, or have ever had, such ideology and absolutely apply it. Moreover, were all Americans to mix, only the minorities would be the less in number, if not, non-existence. So, I applaud you and encourage you to move forward with your own racial classification. However, let us not be too hasty to say that you have the "best" of two worlds who are seemingly, more and more, everyday, are rejecting you.
Name: Betsy, email address not given
Subject: Racial identity of our children (Discussion
Topic)
Date: 7/10/98
I found it interesting that so many parents are struggling with how to classify their children's race. I don't think the child's appearance should matter when determining a classification. I want my multiracial son, who appears white, to be proud of both his black heritage and his white heritage. That's why both my husband and I feel strongly that when we have to classify our son on forms, the only option is multiracial. I think anything other than that is robbing him of his heritage.
However, we also feel that when our son is old enough to decide for himself, he should be free to classify himself however he desires. He may even refuse to be classified! In the meantime, we will be teaching him that a classification is not what determines his identity.
Name: Stephanie, rchall1@erols.com
Subject: Dating
Date: 7/9/98
I'm a black female. At times, in places such as school, I got ridiculed by some of my black friends because - i'm only attracted to white men. I've never dated a black man, and probably won't. They just don't appeal to me. That is my personal preference - and I'm not partial to my own race or anything. I've also wondered, do white men like black women? Many of them don't show it - and I"d love to know my chances......
Could someone respond to this.....
Name: Not given, email address not given
Subject: A.D. Powell's response to Monique
Date: 7/7/98
I think Powell response to Monique was very rude. Powell's tone was very condescending and hostile. Obviously Powell doesn't know know the history of race mixing in the US and think race mixing began with her parents. She did not understand Monique's letter at all. Powell sounds as racist, bigoted & prejudiced as any white supremacist. There are many 'Black' families who look whiter than any white person and have no problem with it.
Powell: So, why do YOU have a problem with a 'Black' woman writing that 'Black' people have different skin tones & hair texture. 'Black' people come in all shades and hair textures. Get over it.
Name: Anonymous99, email address not given
Subject: Am I welcome here? Do I belong here???
Date: 7/7/98
I am light-skinned with green eyes & reddish brown hair. People assume I am white or Spanish. However, both my parents were light-skinned... I am not bi-racial--one parent was not one race and another...Both parents had European, American Indian & African. I come from free people of color...Many of my relatives passed into the white race.... None of my people act like stereotypical Black people. We went to Catholic schools & predominately white colleges...
I am currently involved with a man who is of Irish/ German American descent, but I don't see or feel us as being an 'interracial couple'. ARE we an interracial couple? White people never stare at us because they probably think I am white, too. AM I white? I don't feel white. I don't feel black, either. The stares I get are usually from Blacks. I feel their eyes and their judgement of me... that I think I'm trying to pass...I'm not trying to pass just because I like alternative music, snowboarding, classical music, Shakespeare & English tea parties...
If I DO mention that I am Afro-American to whites, they look at me differently, I don't know why. They act so surprised....
I was the most happiest in Europe, where I could just be the 'American woman'.
I am just me.
Do I belong here, too??????
A99
(Moderator's Note: If you believe that you would benefit from being a member of our support group, you are certainly welcome to join. It sounds as if you have had similar experiences as some of our present members.)
Name: LORI, LOOPYG.@WEBTV.NET
Subject: INTERACIAL
Date: 7/7/98
IF YOU HAVE A WHITE MOTHER AND A BLACK FATHER BUT YOU LOOK WHITE AND YOU GO AND MARRY A WHITE GUY WILL YOUR BABY BE BLACK OR WHITE OR MIXED?
Name: Anaki Basmajiano, anaki@hotmail.com
Subject: Life mates and crayons...make beautiful rainbows
Date: 7/7/98
There are many things play a part in the finding of that one special person in life,when there is NO question that you are where you belong. I have not had the issue of color conformity to weigh me with my life. I have many times thought that how I have grown has been a form of segregation though. I would like your opinions on what I am experiencing and if it compares to that of your situations. Would you help me with answering these few questions, if not for me then for yourselves. I have met a wondeful girl that I have fallen very deeply in love with. I have had a different set of circumstances as I was growing up but the scars that are left behind are the same. She has anger about being of two races, I have fears about being unable to trust someone with knowing who I am. I can give them flesh and blood to look at.I can even give them something to touch and feel. I cannot give them the picture of what I am inside though because I do not know for sure myself what is inside. Does this make sense? I know that I am a person of flesh and dreams but when I try to open up my life to the one person I trust to understand,I have a battle going on inside. I am battling alot of demons inside that are part of my past. I keep hoping that if I love her enough she will not think of herself as "someone who needs to have a label" but of someone who is just accepted because of the way she has touched me. I am very understanding of her feelings, because although I cannot always tell her,I am feeling like I belong to " two seperate worlds". my life before finding her and the one that the world has assigned to me. Do I look at who I AM or what I COULD BE? I have shown my princess the darkest parts of my life and I screamed the whole time in the confinds of my mind that it was going to cost me her. I am still battling that,even as I write this,but I am also willing to keep trying. My princess is worth the effort and I think so is the chance to find my identity. I have been through abuse and the paths of my life are somewhat wider than those of most. These things give the feeling of distrust to some people who are not open to the ways a persons life can get out of his control. So I am of these two worlds...one of trying to remain who I am and hope that she can accept these things,or of trying to do the impossible and make it all flow fluidly together. I am torn because I love this girl with all my heart and I would do all I can for her but I must also be a part of the world that will never accept me. I am torn between what I am to do. I keep letting love be the anchor that holds me from drifting out to sea, but that is very hard when the currents of pain and confusion are so unforgiving. I am in a sense of two colors too... the darkness of my past and the brightness of the future with my beautiful princess. I feel lost in the present because I see the shadows of so many things that are part of our lives. I will do all I can but she doesn't accept that I have two lives and they are of two seperate times and places. I am alive with her and that is where I want to be, yet she ask's me to go back into the past and then I have to fight my way out....is my life before I met her that important? Like the color of a persons skin is always taken to be so important? Or does the future and the persons ability to grow and to love and to overcome the obstacles that life has already given to them most important of all.I would never compare the pains we have as being the same, but when life and love are involved there is seldom a feeling of justice. Please respond if you have any comments I am almost out of ideas.
Name: John, email address not given
Subject: AD Powell's Message Entitled "Monique and other 'one drop fanatics'
Date: July 4, 1998
Regarding the July 1 message titled as above - passionate exchange of conflicting ideas is one thing, and flaming is another.
A.D.'s message clearly falls in the second category. Her references to Monique's "ridiculous mindset" and "stupid(ity)" are inappropriate, to say the least. I wonder if they have ever met? And if not, how does A.D. justify her conclusions?
Name: Alissa R. King, alissarking@hotmail.com
Subject: Personal Story
Date: 7/3/98
Adults: I'm not sure if I swim among you yet, I'm 18 years old. I have listed my "personal story" under the Youth category but that's not to say it wouldn't fit under this one. I have many ideas and views on a lot of the subjects listed under this site and I've made it to age 18 without any trouble. I guess, if you're interested, you're more than welcome to get a "young adult's" perspective. I can answer questions about :what it's like growing up: or I can just listen. Feel free to e-mail me.
(Moderator"s Note: I have also made Alissa a member of our adult support group since she just graduated from high school. Her personal story is posted with adult members.)
Name: Wally Shawlin, wcs@execpc.com
Subject: My Shoes
Date: 7/3/98
HI Deb! and to all that support,
Just a note in support of your site, one of the more worthwhile sites on the "WEB" in my opinion. I'm white, of German ancestry, had 3 GOOD black friends back in school days, and thats it, no special stories. Good for you!, people, keep the faith!
Name: Not given, email address not given
Subject: My shoes web sit
Date: 7/2/98
Recently, I confessed to my mother that I have not always felt that I was part of the Black community. Though I'm not Bi-racial ( I'm Black ) the experiences that some of them wrote are similar. Growing up in a predominately White neighborhood , I knew that I was different because of the color of my skin, which is the obvious reason why I didn't fit into that category. As a young child my relatives would teach me about my heritage , to love my self and to expect racism . As a Black woman I have been discriminated against by White people but when your own people does it, it is uncoothed. " Stick together " is what is said by a proud Black person but when I see my people discriminating against one another, I ask myself " what is the difference between Black and white racism " As a young child I remembered my Black classmates jeering my brother and I for " dressing white " " talking white ". I also remembered my paternal grandmother favoring my lighter-skinned cousin over me and my sister. As a result of that innerdiscrimination , I began to resent my own people. Since I was 16 years old my attitudes about Black people changed . Not long agothe " African=American " category was added . When I look at the category, I think of " pride ", but as I have learned with my personal experiences with innerdiscrimination, it takes more than a racial category to define who you are.In my opinion, you cannot be an African-American ( or whatever race ) if you look down on your own people and discriminate against them and your culture. Innerdiscrimination was my reason why I had problems identifying with my community. Racism from white society can be painful but when your own people do it, it's even more troublesome.
Name: A.D. Powell, powell@danenet.wicip.org
Subject: Monique and other "one drop" fanatics
Date: 7/1/98
Reader "Monique" operates on the ridiculous assumption that, as long as there are no "pure" whites or other non-black races in the IMMEDIATE family, one is "black" regardless of the fact that White or other non-black genes predominate. Grow up, kid! The "black" race does NOT come in all colors, hair types, etc. It a person does not LOOK "black" then he or she ISN'T BLACK. Monique's ridiculous mindset is merely a typical "black" way to avoid the fact that "miscegenation" is desired and adored by man blacks who hate "whites" in general. Monique, if you have relatives who don't look "black," then you have an INTERRACIAL family.
"One drop" fanatics like Monique are also stupid enough to believe that Latinos or Hispanics are a separate "race" who don't bear her mystical "black blood."
(Moderator's Note: Ms. Powell is referring to Monique's 6/27/98 submission. If you would like to read it, select "Monique" above and scroll to the appropriate date.)