Adult Letters

July through September, 1999

My Shoes is a forum where we can meet other multiracial individuals with a white appearance and express our thoughts and feelings.

This page allows members and non-members to ask questions or comment on anything they wish related to the mission of the support group. Help the support group grow by talking to group members, by contributing to discussion topics, by sending your personal story, and by posting announcements on the bulletin board. Join us!

To send your questions or comments press 

Letters:.

Name: Sabrina, jewelsea@earthlink.net
Subject: Support Groups
Date: 9/23/99

Hi!...I'm new to this website..I have to say that after years of going
through the "what are you?" question...I feel that I've finally found a
home!...I was born in the North, raised in the South (what an awful
experience!...from both blacks and whites!)...Anyway, now I live in the
Southwest...and "most" people will mistake me for "mixed" or Mexican ...
which is just fine by me...I really try not to dwell anymore on what I must
look like to people ...I don't label myself as black or white or
Mexican...I'm just Me!...Being "me" of course has led to a certain amount
of isolation and doing things on my own...not going with the "pack"
...because I did'nt fit into any "category"...

Ok...enough rehashing the past...what I'd like to ask is if anyone knows of
any live support groups, lectures, conventions in the southwest specifically
geared towards biracial peoples?...If anyone has any information on this it
would be greatly appreciated!...I'd love to meet other people who have or
go through the same experiences as me!

Name: Eterro Barton, bart234@hotmail.com
Subject: Equality is what matters
Date: 9/21/99

I have had many changes in my life, & my story has caught the attention of many of people. Some of the responses have not been so great, & then there were some that were very empathetic. Still I am saddened by the whole American society's view on race & the relationship that we have with one another. Within my family I'm certain there are individuals who chose not to assemble with persons because of a darker pigmentation of the skin, but GOD has given me enlightment. None of us are above the other. God made man & woman. One and all. Humans categorize for their own individual reasons. One has to establish a race or ethnic group to say this is who I am or this is what I am. Once people realize that in the end it won't even matter, well a whole lot of people would understand that there is no need for the recognition of any type of color, race, religion, or creed. I applaud you & your work with all the sincerity that I can possibly give. I feel you are doing a wonderful job by empowering people of mixed race to feel that they do belong in a society that we didn't form, but one in which we are forced to live & compromise.

I know that there will never be a complete day when we are just seen as americans to ourselves. I mean even across the world in opposite countries people are fighting over cleansing their countries of ethnic peoples. It is a sad thing & it seems to spread like a very bad virus. I pray for equality of all peoples & nationalities in the U.S.

Name: Tarena Ruff, tarena_ruff@cc.cranbrook.edu
Subject: Interested in your experiences
Date: 9/18/99

Hello. I would like to first point out that I am African American (or Black), although I know that my ancestors consisted of Native Americans, Caucasians and Africans. I guess I never thought that this was such an issue, because I believed everybody to be of mixed ancestory, somewhere along the line.

I am currently a graduate student, seeking an MA degree in communications. I came across your site because I am doing research for a film script. The issue of multi-ethnicity has recently intrigued me because I work with an Upward Bound Program, and many of our students are of mixed or bi-racial backgrounds.

I would appreciate your support in this regard. You have offered some valuable information. Please, if anybody would like to add more information, or provide me with other leads I can pursue on this subject, please send an Email.

I would also like to add that I, being a Christian, believe that we are all God's children, regardless of race. May God bless you and grant you the strength to endure.

Name: Not given, edon214@aol.com
Subject: My daughter
Date: 9/17/99

I AM A SINGLE MOTHER OF A BI-RACIAL DAUGHTER. MY DAUGHTER WHO IS 2 YEARS OLD IS VERY LIGHT-SKINED, MOST PEOPLE THINK SHE IS WHITE. WHAT I WOULD LIKE IS SOME ADVICE ON THE BEST WAY TO HELP MY DAUGHTER EMBRACE BOTH OF HER RACES.

Name:  Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject:  Member email addresses
Date:  9/10/99

I need current email addresses for the following My Shoes members inorder to send an important notice.  Your address will not be published with your web site submissions unless you state it on that submission, i.e., the address that you send to me will only be used for occaisional personal notices from me.  Please select my email address above and let me know how I can reach you.

Julia Cummings, Kelly Murphy, Leesa, Lorenzo Gonzalez, M.A., Marie Recupero, Ordania Ward, Raza, Ruth Alexander.

Name:  Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject:  Cee Cee's email address
Date:  9/10/99

I would like to send to you a personal note but don't know where to send it.  You have made several excellent submissions to My Shoes that I was unable to post.  I would like to tell you why I could not post them.  I would like to post all of your submissions if we can correct the problem.  I will not give your address to anyone else.  Please select my email address above and let me know how I can reach you.

Name: Seastar, MarMay21@aol.com
Subject: You Will Always Be (blank ),  but not (blank)enough!
Date: 8/31/99

I've heard it so many times. "You're acting like a "bolillo". "You're a white girl". You're a tryin-to-be-wanna-be whatever! I've always been called "the enemy" by the (blank) community and I've been completely kicked out of the culture...But to my surprise, the same person who calls me "the enemy" is the same person who assures me how (blank) I am. That's weird. How can I be black/brown/yellow/green but not be enough of it. Aren't their numerous hues in each color. Lavender is a hue of Purple. Vanessa Williams calls herself African-American; but some dumb fool wants to say she's "not-enough". Do you see where I'm getting at? I know my history & I'm aware of who I am. I'm not trying to be universal. I just want to be me. How can I be (blank), but not (blank) enough? Well, I guess if you see one of my parents you'll understand why I'm not (blank) enough. Though I love being a part of (blank) culture. The rejection is extremely painful; though I would expect that from "the enemy".

Name:  Juanita Brooks, jbrooks@myshoes.com
Subject:  Reaching ethnic minority women
Date:  8/30/99

I am offering an essay contest for menopausal women and hope that there will be a good representation of minority contestants.  I am calling for a 3-5 page essay about personal experiences.  The author does not need to have excellent writing skills.

Seventy-five finalists may have their stories published.  First, second, and third place prizes are $500, $300, and $200 respectively.  Details about the contest can be found at http://www.soar-of-america.com.  The deadline for submissions is September 30, 1999.

Please help spread the word by informing family, friends, and colleagues.

Name: Kaia Young, email address not given
Subject: Black Is Not Ugly
Date: 8/30/99

I have been working at a youth center in Atlanta for about a year. The focus of my work is with biracial children, most of which have a black and a white parent. I started my program because I have a biracial cousin who at one time was tropubled with her identity.

I have learned from the children I work with that most of them are in racial conflict because they are embarrassed by their black ancestry. Media coverage of blacks dictates that black people are ugly, criminal-minded, poor, uneducated and a host of other undesireable characteristics. The children are heavily discriminated against by whites because they have black influences in their skin. As a result, many blame their blackness for their lack of acceptance.

From reading this site, I've noticed the same things with many of the adults who have written in. One thing that I must say is that your blackness is by no means ugly. It seems that many of you also dislike your black side because of media portrayal. To me that is a further advocation of racism.

In case you are wondering, I am also a black/white person. Every black person in my family is college educated and very proud of themselves and their heritage. I urge you all to research and find that there are some wonderful black people in this world.

Further, I must add that I have never had any of these problems. Why? Well, I attribute it to my high self-esteem. I have also never been forced to choose a race or identity. Although I also look more white, I identify more with blacks because of the rich African heritage that has been played down by white people. I also think that many of you have had so many problems regarding your race that you expect people to give you negativity in the present. Therefore, the real problem is you and your perceptions.

Again, I must say that black is not ugly. I admire people like Halle Berry, Salli Richardson, and Stacey Dash. All of which are actresses who are of black/white parentage who love and embrace both sides of themselves. Maybe, if a lot of you embrace both sides of yourselves and disregard what others think, you'll find this whole biracial thing to not be a problem. Trust me, I know!!

Name: Erica, memos_and_notes@hotmail.com
Subject: Racial Classification Terminologies
Date: 8/26/99

Is anyone familiar with the new Ethno-Term "TIRAH" (or "NATIRAH") or familiar with the name "MULUNGEON" (given to the Ethnic Group of tri-racial Americans)?

According to The TIRAH Society: "Natirah is a new ethnonym, designed by native tri-racials for native tri-racials, and was acronymically derived from Native Inter-Racial American Humankind. Natirah replaces the old outdated Mulatto designation and other disparaging terms used in the past to classify mixed-race people. Natirah in effect represents the ancestry of native hybrids of color. ----- an optional racial designation for native hybrids or triracials without a proper racial designation."

The term "TIRAH" is also found on the http://www.melungeons.org/ website devoted to an American Ethnic group known as MULUNGEON. It's my understanding that MULUNGEON is the name given to the "tri-racial" Ethnic group of Americans who have a blend of African-American, Native-American and European-American heritages in their family background and bloodlines.

"Melungeon": Webster's Third New International Dictionary (1981): melungeon, also malungeon: (me'lenjen -s) usu. cap [origin unknown]: one of a group of people of mixed Indian, white, and Negro ancestry.

A link to the "TIRAH SOCIETY" as well as additional information on the Mulungeons can be found at http://www.melungeons.org/.

There is also an excellent documentary on the MULUNGEONS called "The Mysterious Mulungeons" and it is shown on PBS from time-to-time.

In addition, the PBS series "FRONTLINE" did an excellent feature on race classification in America and spent quite a bit of time focusing on families and individuals with tri-racial (Native, African & European-American) heritages -- the term used in the "FRONTLINE" feature was "tri-racial isolates".

In my opininion, the http://www.melungeons.org/ website is an excellent source of research for family and American history -- especially for Americans who are of a variety of ethnic bloodlines and have wondered what term to use to describe their family's heritage.

If curious, it may be a good site for a person to check out in order to see if there is any MULUNGEON (or other tri-racial blend of history) in their family's bloodline.

Have a great day !!!

I am what has been referred to as a Castilian-American. This means that my parents came straight from Spain, when they were 3 and 4. Although I am not biracial I feel drawn to this site for many reasons, one being that I'm not the "typical" American view of a latino, maybe because I'm not latino, I'm hispanic. But what I mean to say is that most of Americans think of a hispanic and latino as always being mestizo (white/indian) or with black blood. I always hear people who are mixed say they get mistaken as spanish. Not all spanish are like that. I myself am blond with more freckles than I'd care to count. My cousin from Argentina is also like me. I think its true what someone said earlier about the hispanic lady in the front page. If you go to Miami, you could find Latinos and Hispanics who are chinese, black, blonde, indian, everything. I myself am married to an "anglo" and we have a beautiful, guess what?, blonde daughter. I'm not trying to say that being blonde is better, prettier or any other of that b.s. Another reason I like this site is that it doesn't just talk about black/white mixtures.

Well, I was wondering if anyone could please tell me of a site that deals with specifically Hispanics who have married other races, or just a site that discusses the Hispanic culture's differences. PLEEEEAAAAASEEEEE!!!!!!! I've looked everywhere.

(Moderator's Note:  To read the comment referred to in this submission, select "someone" above.)

Name: Akasha, goddess_akasha@hotmail.com
Subject: NATIRAH- We EXIST!!!
Date: 8/24/99

Dr. Brooks, thank you for having this site. You have always made me feel welcome, even though I was not sure belonged here.

I have just stumbled upon www.tanamerican.com website that defines who I am! Honestly, I have never felt a part of the bi-racial movement because both my parents are of the same 'race' (tri-racials). Although we share much with multiracial movement, NATIRAH really defines who we are: black, white, and red. It is like a blindfold has been removed from my eyes

It has taken me some time to throw off the brainwashing of calling myself 'black' or African American, because that does not really define who I am. I am not 'white', not do I desire to be. For so many generations, due to racism, we have been denied our NATIRAH heritage, forced to choose: to pass for black or to pass for white. We have intermarried with black and white and are disappearing because racism has forced us to choose instead of being who we are.

Name: cee-cee, email address not given
Subject: surviving in a racial  conscious society.....
Date: 8/22/99

Hi, Caroline, I was reading your post and it brought up some awful memories for me. I remembered going through some of the same trials and tribulations that your son is currently going through. I remembered being made an example out of because of the way I acted. How I acted ? I rebeled because my classmates and even our so called educated teachers picked on me , I was extremely withdrawn because I was in fear that someone was going to bully me. I also felt that my family , at least with the paternal side, played a negative role in my life. My then-colorstricken grandmother, showed favortism between my faair-skinned cousin and I. It had gotten to a point that I hated being black. All of this almost destroyed me but I managed to hang around some good people, who accepted me unconditionally and told me "Not to let them people knock you down" Initially I did not understand them until, I was 20. Along with the support of my mom, my freinds and self- motivation, I'm more able to conquer the demons that once plagued my life. i'm in college, holding a job and is happier than ever. Far as my hatred for being black ( Some also say I'm multiracial becuase of being Black/ Asian Indian and Dutch-Scottish but I don't care ) I have accepted who I'am and love who I'am. I know that there where will always be those naysayers who will negatively judge me but let them , I'm not living for them. keep supporting your son and tell him , hard as this world is to be in be positive and that he is a beautiful person. Hopefully, like myself, he will see just how insignificant those people will mean to him. All they want to see is to see him go down so they do the next person like that.

Name: Henry Norcom, Hnorc@aol.com
Subject: Welcome back!
Date: 8/22/99

Dr. Brooks, I am so glad to see the update of Myshoes! For a while Sandy and I were going to call out the Coast Guard, FBI, and NASA to see if they could locate you :) I can only speak for myself, but I look forward to reading every new personal story, letter and comment posted. Besides, I owe you a lot. If it were not for Myshoes, I may never have met Sandy!

Name:  Elaine, ebj@internetnorth.com.au
Subject:  Contacts in San Francisco, New York, and Boston
Date: 8/18/99

I know you get alot of email from this site but I would really
appreciate if you would respond to this one before 31 August.  I live in
Australia and will be visiting San Francisco, New York and Boston in
September.  Are you able to give me any contacts in these areas in the
biracial community eg support groups, conferences etc?  I am 32 and have lived in monoracial white areas in Australia for a long time.  Your
website was one of the first I came across when I bought my computer in
February this year.  I would like to talk to people like me.  Your
website has made me alot of friends.  Hope you can help.
Keep up the good work.

Name: Judith Ross, nmkirkof@yahoo.com
Subject: Inter-racial marriages
Date: 8/5/99

I am a college student writing on inter-racial marriages. I would like
some input from couples, whether married or not, on the pros and
cons. Please write back.

Name: Suzanne, jfontain@bellsouth.net
Subject: Re: Reply to a comment posted on your front page
Date: 8/3/99

I'm very suprised by the comment made by a Hispanic lady in your
front page that claimed that because because she's blond, blue eyed
and Anglo looking she felt rejected and she feels better among
"Anglos" then Hispanic. I don't know what nationality she's from, nor
I'minterested to found out. But regardless of her nationality, it's clear
that this person has crisis of indentity or does not know the Hispanic
culture very well. First of all, Hispanic come in all colors, sizes and
shapes. They come in White, Yellow, Brown and Black. We are a
hemogenous culture. For example, I consider myself a white-hispanic
(French and Spaniard ancestry) and I'm very proud of my cultural
upbringing. Maybe she should move to a more diverse area in the
country such as Miami where Hispanics ( all races and nationalities)
and all other cultures, including Anglos and Jews, coexist and live in
harmony.

(Moderator's Note:  To read the comment referred to in this submission, select "Hispanic lady" above and scroll down to CrisTina Sierra-Mundo.  Read CrisTina's complete story in the "Personal Stories" section of My Shoes.)

Name: Caroline, mcdajeff@worldnet.att.net
Subject: parenting a multi racial kid and helping him cope
Date: 8/3/99

We are a multi-cultural (multi-racial) family (Japanese/Anglo/Black).
Many think our kids look Hawaiian, Malaysian or they just can't figure
it out. People often stare at them and boldy ask what they are. We live
in a middle to upper middle class community where people just don't
look like my kids. Even Asian Indians and Phillipinos will walk up to
us and ask what we are. An African American teacher asked one of
my children what they were in front of his peers.

My oldest child is taller, athletic and more verbal than most his age. At
this stage, he is more physically mature than most his age. Combined
with his exotic appearance, he truly stands out in a crowd. He has
been the recipient of lots of negative attention from the adults in his life.
More seems to expected from him than others. He is the typical boy
who is filled with energy and is at times a prankster. Though he's a
good kid, his behavior needs to be redirected at times. He seems to
get more than his fair share of negative attention from others. A
smaller, average looking kid could be doing the same thing but my son
is often made he EXAMPLE KID. This seems to have become a
pattern with some adults. From what I've observed, the kids typically
pay attention to our son, so when the group of kids aren't behaving the
coaches or teachers target him to control the group.

Now that our son is into the teen years, he's becoming aware that he is
held to a different standard. He's is getting tired of this and at times
becomes discouraged and defensive.

Why is he being held to a different standard? How can we help him
not to get angry? How can we help him cope?

Name: cee-cee, email address not given
Subject: About tired of brother in law paranoia over the non-Black
man
Date: 7/31/99

Many of us in my family predicted it and now my sister is seeing
it--how idiotic her husband is. For the past week my sister has been
threatening a divorce from him because of his paranoia of the
non-Black men she works around at her job. At her job, it is
predominately Black, with a sprinkling of white and Latino workers,
but he is so bent on her being around White, Asian or Latino men.
Call me crazy! but I seem to notice His sudden concern being around
them when her best buddy, who is married to a very nice and
attractive Latino man came to her house for a visit. Since then it's "
She's having an affair with this so and so Mexican man on the job".
The other day ,a guy accidently called her residence and the guy's last
name " Fernandez " was listed on her caller I. D . All hell breaks
loose! You know what he is thinking--Yeah ! she's having an affair
with the " Fernandez" man, though we all have no clue to who it is. As
her sister , his stupidity annoys the hell out of me !! First of all she's not
a cheater ! ( I'm not saying it beacsue she's my sister but most of her
time is either at work or with him( ugh! ) I guess he feel that she's
going to leave him for a non-Black male. Although he is not keen on
any colored man , including Black men gawking at my sister, he is
really bent on a non Black man eyeballing her. In all honesty, My sister
married a fool ! and shall she decide to divorce ( as she wnat to do
becasue of his behavior ) and if she enters another relationship with a
man BLack or non-Black man I hope that he will have more sense
than the guy that she's with now because he is not only rattling my
sisters nerves but he is also getting on my family's last nerves!

Name: Maxine Butler, maxine@en.com
Subject: Bi-racial Jewish Children
Date: 7/27/99

About a year ago, my then, 10 year old son, expressed an interest in going to Sunday School and learning about Judaism. I am a white Jew, and my husband is black and from a Christian background. Since deciding to have a Bar Mitzvah, my son has recently begun questioning if he "can be accepted as a Bi-Racial Jew"....... I am looking for any information on , Bi-RAcial Jews. I would especially appreciate literature that my son can read and relate to. Also, can someone provide me with a list of "successful" Bi-racial Jewish people that may serve as role-models for my son?

Name: Azita Baizura, tita1@jaring.my
Subject: Children of Inter Racial Marriages and the link to intelligence
Date: 7/25/99

I'm a 2nd year university student taking Bachelor of human Sciences majoring in English Language and Literature and I was wondering if you could help me on my research paper.I am currently pursuing my degree in the International Islamic University Malaysia and I am enrolled in the course 'Research Methodology ENGL 4999'. It is my hope that you could provide some information regarding children of inter-racial marriages and whether it is true that they acquire a high level of intelligence due to their genetic background. I would appreciate it very much if anyone could give their personal opinion about this and also any other information or links that might be considered useful for my research.

Thank You
.

Name: Kim Ellison,  kime@freepcmail.com
Subject: My biracial children
Date: 7/21/99

I'm a 28 year old, african american, mother of 4. 2 of my children are from a previous relationship with a white man. My daughter, who lives with me, Kiara,8, is the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. She is tall and slender with a wonderful smile. She can pass for either white or hispanic. My son, who stays with his white father, BJ, 6, is very handsom, he is very dark, and couldn't pass for bi-racial. Kiara has no problem at all being accepted by anyone. However, when she gets into arguements at school, the first thing black kids want to call her is "white girl". Her response is, "I'm not white!" I asked her did that offend her, and she says no. But I think it does and that bothers me.

My son, always has to hear from other kids, "That's not your father, he's white!". I feel so bad for him. But he doesn't care. He loves his dad and he loves me and my husband (who is black).

Where we live (Wisconsin), there are so many bi-racial children and interracial couples. It is very much excepted. Thank God for that.

Name: JCC, copenhaj@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu
Subject: Opposite but similar
Date: 7/15/99

My apologies if I accidentally sent an empty message already. At first,
I was not sure if this website was the proper place for my particular
inquiry, but after reading some of the brief testimonials on the opening
page I feel like I might be able to find some answers while
simultaneously expanding upon the group's professed purpose of being
a forum where biracial persons with a white appearance can gather to
meet and talk about their feelings. Here, briefly then, is my story and
my particular plea for help. My girlfriend, 22, is struggling with the
"opposite" of what this page is dedicated to. You see, from all
outward appearances she looks Mexican even though she is only 1/8.
Her parents, aunts, and brother are all fair-skinned (she is not
adopted---she's got her mom's dimples). In short, she looks nothing
like anyone to whom she is related. Nevertheless, there is a strong
similarity between her feelings and those expressed in this page. To
Latinos, she is not "pure" enough and whites cannot stop asking her
"what she is." Unlike the more classic situation where each parent is of
a clearly separate racial group, both her parents are in every shape,
manner, form, etc. white. Whatever Mexican cultural heritage existed
several genenerations in her family was repudiated by her
great-grandfather when he came to the United States. Yet,
genealogically, she is a testament to that heritage. Thus she feels
unable to go to her parents for help in this matter. She needs to speak
with biracial persons who have wrestled with the same or similar
circumstances. Though hers is not the black parent/white parent model
that I suspect predominates in this page, there is certainly a crossover
(no pun intended) that exists. What resources does anyone know
about that would address this situation, especially in the
Midwest/Minneapolis area? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Are there any national or regional hotlines for multiracial
persons?

Name: MAV, bvalenti@columbus.rr.com
Subject: Just Curious
Date: 7/14/99

I was wondering if there was anyone else out there who feels like they
don't have to "choose" what race they are. I am half Black and half
White, my father was black and my mother is white. I was raised in a
mixed neighborhood, mixed schools and (obviously) mixed family. I
was and still remain closer to my fathers family because that's just the
way it has always been. I look like a white woman and yet have never
felt pressured from anyone ever to chose "sides". My fathers mother
used to tell me that I had the best of both worlds and I have never
seen it any other way! I am proud of who I am! Don't get me wrong, I
don't think I am better than anyone else and I have had occasions
when it wasn't always easy to be who I am yet I still feel the same,
why chose? If you chose you are denying half of your God given right
to be who you are as well as half of your family and heritage! I
personally feel that is too high a price for anyone to pay! Life is too
short to worry about other people who might not accept you as you
are! If someone doesn't like me because of my race, I figure that he or
she is not the type of person I would want to associate with anyway!
Am I the only bi-racial person that feel this way? I hope not! I would
love to hear any comments out there!! By the way, I stubbled on to
this page and I LOVE it! Thanks for thinking of us!!

Name: Heather, hnbrooks1@aol.com
Subject: This site
Date: 7/13/99

Aunt Juanita you are doing a wonderful job with this site. It has been
very helpful to myself and many others. Hopefully one day I will
actually put my story on here to share with everyone. Well anyway,
keep up the good work. Love ya.

(Moderator's Note:  Thank you for your encouragement niece.)

Name: Heather, hdogg94232@aol.com
Subject: THE BIRACIAL EXPERIENCE
Date: 7/12/99

As a part of an independent study project, I am researching the demographic and social aspects of living in the United States as a biracial person.

I am seeking participants who are 1) of mixed race and also 2) residents of the U.S. to fill out a quick survey.

E-mail me if you are interested! I would greatly appreciate any help :-)

Name: Judy Jenks, jjenks@foundation.fsu.edu
Subject: Introduction
Date: 7/8/99

I was born in Jamaica to mixed race parents. My dad is of
African/Portuguese/Jewish/Irish descent and my Mom is of
English/African (very small percentage)heritage. My Dad has a rich
carmel complexion with dark brown hair and eyes and my Mom has a
white (with a pinkish hue), dark brown hair and grey eyes. I have two
sisters living (one died some time ago). Basically, all three of us have
our father's complexion, but my baby sister, we have been told, looks
like our maternal greatgrandmother -- she has medium blonde hair and
sky blue eyes ( she almost looks Jewish). Genetics are wonderful
aren't they? Needless to say, my family is quite "mixed up."

In Jamaica, mixed marriages are pretty common ( the fact that it was
once an English colony that was originally inhabited by the Arawak
Indians has much to do with it). The fondest memories I had was
growing up in a neighborhood that was racially mixed -- I lived
between German Jamaicans and Austrailians. Also, half a mile down
our street, we had some Swedish/Jamaican friends. I found it a
wonderful environment to grow up in.

My family moved to Miami when I was thirteen and boy, was I in
store for a rude awakening. When I started attending my junior high
school (which was about 80% Hispanic), most people assumed I was
Hispanic. I was also shoved around and labeled "zebra" by some
African American girls attending the school. They felt that since I
spoke differently and my complexion was lighter than theirs, they felt I
was trying to be better than them. Talk about finding it difficult to fit in.
I know God was watching over me because he provided me with a
wonderful friend (Cheryl) who I hung out with through high school.
Cheryl is a African American/Hispanic (father is from Panama).
Twenty years later, we still keep in touch.

To keep a long story short, I grew up and married a Jewish American
man who I love with all my heart. We've been married for 15 years
(this August)and have no children (although we would still like to have
one if God permits). We live in Tallahassee, where we experienced
extreme culture shock -- I wasn't really aware that we were a mixed
couple until we moved here. The culture here

dictates that I'm automatically labeled "African American" and he is
"White." However, I am happy to say that we are starting to fit in as
best we can. We attend a predominantly African American church and
we are one of four mixed couples that go there. To be honest it took a
little while to befriend the African American community, because of
the negative reactions I had in junior and high school. There had to be
much healing and forgiveness for me to come this far.

Is there anyone out there from a mixed carribean background with
similar experiences. I would love to hear from you. I would also like
some feedback from anyone who is willing to share.

Name: Brenda, brobertson24@hotmail.com
Subject: races
Date: 7/8/99

I am a young woman (18) who is white. I have been brought up my whole life to discriminate against black people, but only black people. I do not understand why I have been brought up this way. I went a stray from my parents wishes and beliefs. I was always taught in church to love all the children of the world red, yellow, black, and white. I recently went off to college for my first year and while away I met the most perfect young man. Only one problem he was mixed (black and white. I felt as though mine and his relationship could eventually be something quite special. I grew to love him and everything about him. I told my parents about him and they were crushed. I felt as though I had betrayed them. What was I to do, I felt so helpless. I'm a good kid and usually follow my parents wishes, but not on this one I wanted to follow my heart. I am a Christian and my parents told me that it was a sin to mix races, they said to stay with my own kind, what is actually my own kind? Also, is it truly a sin because I didn't believe my parents when they said it was. If you want to know the truth I know that I have Cherokee indian in my blood and who knows what else, so what is actually your own kind. I love every race for who they are and there personality types, If I dislike someone it is not going to be because of their race, but because of our personality differences/clashes. I believe that there are good people of every race and bad people of every race. I would love for someone to e-mail me and try to help me figure out this world-wide dilemma.

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