Adult Discussion Topic

There is a new term out, “White People of Color.” Where do you fit?

Responses To Discussion Topic:

RE: Michelle D. Childers below:

You should put white. I put white on my daughters forms because she does not look like she has a drop of minority blood in her. She would have a harder time if I put down black, because black people would treat her like they do my friends kids, who are mixed. These kids look white only also and they are told by their parents that they are just black, although both parents are white skinned and have very little black blood. Their kids get called whitie, chased down the street, and have self-esteem problems because in their community it is an insult for them to be called white. One child, Amber told me, she hopes she darkens up when she gets older. I said, why, what's wrong with the color you are? SHe said, They think I'm white. THese kids are constantly trying to prove how black they are. Looking at them, makes me appreciate the decision I made in checking white on her birth certificate. She'll know she's mixed because I'm her mother, and proud of all of our mixtures in my family (Puerto Rican,white, black, Cherokee and Hindu (my brother), her father's side included (some of his siblings are half black and his niece is irish/french/and Jewish). But, I also feel that white people have the right to be proud of their culture too, and it's no shame in being white. My daughter should be as proud to be white as she is to be racially mixed. If my friends kids had've been taught to be proud of their mixtures/heritages, they wouldn't be trying so hard to be a color there skin is not.

I have always wondered about that good old form to fill out about your race. I have been troubled by it since I was a little girl. How do you fill that out? If you look white, do you put white? People will question. I have always put white because I have been afraid of the reprocussion from the black community. If I put African American or American Indian, and I get preferencial treatment because of it (which I have seen happen many times), will the African American community think that I was cheating them out of something that is thiers? Or would the White community think I was using it as an easy ride? These questions have alway troubled me. For that reason, I usually don't mark anything. No one has noticed yet, and if they did, they haven't said anything to me. I am not breaking the law by not "choosing one". Maybe in the future I will figure it out and decide what to do. I had the chance to ask this of Dr. Cornell West once when he was lecturing at a local college. He told me it was a very interesting topic and should look into it more. I haven't heard anything back from him. O well.

I had an enlightening (no pun intended) conversation with my 71 year old father last week. He informed me that I am a little (I'm 28) white girl with a colored father. In the same conversation, he told me that "it's hell being high yella."

My impression was that since he had suffered so much from both black and white communities for being a black child with blond curly hair, it was his gold to have two offspring who did not fit into the black community. Forget that I have 5 brothers and sisters who are black, by marrying a filipino american and then a white american and having children by them, it was his gold to have kids that would not be stuck suffering in the black community the way he did.

Unfortunately, his plans went awry when my mother insisted I have some exposure to black people so that I could know who my people were. In some ways I wish she had not, because most of my issues with my ethnic background have come from the horrible treatment I have received from black people. On the other had, life in a predominantly white community ain't exactly a bowl of cherries, as a minority of any persuasion will tell you, because of the fight to overcome crude ethnic and racial stereotypes.

I felt a sense of release as I listened to him. It gave my own struggle some historical perspective; here is someone who lived during the worst years of Jim Crow in the South. He had been called high yellow wannabe all of his life and dissed by the black community even while the community wanted to claim and hold him because of his very successful efforts at ending discrimination against black people during the 60's. He told me that he was motivated not so much by desire to help other blacks but because being a black man in America was such an inconvenience and did not allow hiim to go the places he wanted to go. For obvious reasons, he did not want me to discuss this conversation with anyone, least of all my black siblings (the source of much pain and disappointment in my life).

His reflections also demonstrated that the pain he suffered affected him in the most profound way, and I felt very sorry for that little blond child that was kicked and beaten just for being black, even though I had always felt so much anger at him for what I called his unofficial mission to produce a white child (I always felt that I apparently was not white enough, because my non-black but not 100% white mother divorced him and he went on to have a "pure" white child).

In some ways this conversation left me feeling hopeless - would the struggle never end? In other ways, I learned that there was really nothing I could do to help my (literal) kid sister; having taught her that black is really bad, how could she do anything but be ashamed of her black heritage? This comes out in the way she treats her naturally curly hair, the kind of hair that blacks and whites attempt to perm/curl/blow dry/weave theirs into a crude approximation of.

She furiously attempts to "brush" all of the curl out of her hair to the point where her hairbrush is warped and her hair looks more afro than even. She has turned to me to tell her how to do her hair because her mother will not have anything to do with it, but when she returns to her all white school, the furious hairbrushing returns and my careful "diffuse, condition, don't brush but finger comb" instruction goes right out the window.

I don't really have any other place to discuss an issue like this. Who would get it? Even though my original birth certificate states that my father is white, I know that I am not and I still feel the guilty pull of those who have told me all of my life "you ain' white, you jus tryin to pass."

I actually got into an argument a few weeks ago with a problack-antiwhite friend who was offended that I said Fashion Fair's lightest makeup did not work with my skin tone. We had been talking about makeup, and I mentioned that I have a fear of makeup counters from my teenage years in the 80's when the sales clerk would try to put "ebony" or "mocha" colored makeup on my "medium beige" skin out of their ignorance. She suggested Fashion Fair or Flori Roberts. When I told her that it didn't work for me, she snapped "I know plenty of black people your color and they use Fashion Fair" (and probably look a mess, too). I told her this was not a racial issue, that it simply didn't work.

This is also the person with whom I went to see Amistad. Big mistake. Another hour long conversation about race ending with the "why don't you just call yourself black" despite the fact that I had been there/done that and it didn't work. More comments about how I would "never be happy with a white man because it is like the master/slave thing." A few years ago I took this sort of advice about who to date to heart. Instead I became some sort of pariah for being "too light" and for not having a "booty" but a "flat ass." Now I realize it as a projection; this friend is the one who would never be happy with a white man.

I feel so sad. It saddens me to no end that people will keep trying to fit me into their limited little molds because when that time happens it signals that the relationship has reached its maximum potential. How can it go any further when a person has demonstrated that she or he does not accept you for who you are, but is trying to make you into something that they can feel more comfortable with.

I am 1/4 black and have always had trouble identifying with who I am. I have never met my father and my mother is the one who is white. My family denies that I am black. My grandparents are racists and refuse to accept my background. It really hurts to hear my grandfather say "This stupid nigger..." I currently have a black boyfriend who is from Nigeria. My entire family seems to be against us dating and they never miss an opportunity to tell me so. I have semi-nappy hair a big flat nose, and a big behind. But my skin looks white. If I wanted to I could easily pass for a white person. But I don't want to. I continue tostruggle with my identity everyday. Since the rest of my family doesn't accept who I am, this is a hard task. I wish there were some way I could speak to my father. Afterall he is 1/2 black and could relate to being multi-racial.

This subject is near and dear to my heart since I am a white person of color. My Grandfather was the son of a plantation slave in Mississippi. My skin is white--I have blonde hair and blue eyes--obviously my father's Irish genes were very dominant, because my half-brother is brown skinned with green eyes.

The comments I would like to share concern how some people view whites of color. When I discovered that I was part black, I was happy because I always knew I was a little different. I found it very fasinating and wonderful.

Unfortunately, I have run into a few people who don't agree:

"I wouldn't brag about it" "just be glad you turned out white" "don't tell anyone" "pray to God you don't have a black child" "don't turn into a wanna-be" "your just a nigger-lover living a fantasy"

Other reactions have been funny:

"so, that's where you got that butt, those lips, that nose, etc" "why aren't you married to a black man?" "what will you do if you have a black child?" (duh) "so that's how you learned to dance--they have good rhythm" "you're too white to be black" "no she did not say that"

Regardless of what comments I have heard, I am my own person. I am an AMERICAN above all else. I am not black or white unless we are describing the color of my skin, and even then, my skin is not white, it is olive-- for all other purposes I am an American--the sooner we identify ourselves as such and stop being so focused on distinguishing ourselves from each other, the sooner we will all be able to live in peace and harmony! American's regardless of our ethic makeup.

Hello Everyone,

I don’t know if anybody else has gotten this comment before. But I find it totally amusing. I once had a conversation with a black lady who *seemed* to be very educated. But she proceeded to tell me how I wanted to be white. And when I asked her how she came to this conclusion she told me.

That the activities I like to engage in are white activities. Such as Hunting, Camping, Hiking, Ballroom Dancing, The Republican Party. So, on. Now this lady was the color of Cecile Tyson. She had Blue/Gray contacts and her hair was unbeweavable if you know what I mean. :-)

And then she proceeded to tell me that black folk do not talk that way. I assume she meant with out falling into Ebonics and haveing proper diction. It was a very interesting as well as frustrating conversation at the same time. In the end we agreed to disagree.

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