Adult Discussion Topic
With the union of yourself and a monoracial partner, how would you racially identify your offspring? With the union of yourself and a biracial partner, how would you racially identify your offspring? Would you racially identify your offspring different from the way you identify yourself?
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and use "Racial identity of our children" as the Subject.
Responses To Discussion Topic:
Name: Carolyn Hall, chall@english.fsu.edu
Date: 11/15/99
I would like to say that I've had this discussion with other people
on another website about "what color are you", where it concerns my daughter.
I am mixed (and according to my husband), I look White, my husband (according
to me, he's multi-racial) is Black. Our daughter has honey colored skin
and blonde hair. My mother-in-law, who is the same color as I am, identifies
herself with being Black. But, she looks White. She looks so White, my
daughter came out and said, "Mimi (that's what she calls her), you're White."
And I think this bothered my mother-in-law, because she felt the need to
correct my daughter and say she's Black. Now I think, because of my mother-in-law,
my daughter is confused on the color issues. Now when my daughter sees
a White person, she doesn't know what to think. So what I've decided to
settle for, for now, is to explain that she is GOLDEN, when ever my daughter
asks what color she herself is. And we also say that Daddy is light brown
and so is Mimi.
I am a multiracial woman with a child who is classified on her birth
certificate as being white. My daughter is 3/4 white or more. I am mixed
coming from two mixed parents. My father looked completely white although
he was half Puerto Rican. My mother is black and Indian. MY entire family,cousins,
etc. are mixed or are in interracial relationships. My daughters' father
is white, Irish. His family, part of it, is mixed, and the other part is
white. I am light brown skinned and can usually blend in with Puerto Rican
or with Light SKinned Blacks, Mixed Persons, or as Half Indian, which is
the community I was raised in. My daughter is very Caucasian. She has yellowish
blond hair, blue eyes and white skin. When were together, people assume
that I am her babysitter. I've heard it a million times. She looks no different
than the Caucasian children at her daycare. Not a tint different. In the
beginning, it hurt me that people assumed that I am not her mother. I've
been chased away from a job because I had a child by a white man, I've
been nearly attacked because this dark skinned man didn't like my color,
but especially the color of the little girl around my neck, and I've lost
friends because they assume that my child is black until they see her.
Soon, she's going to find out that she looks different from everybody else.
I try to take her to see her cousins who are white, and she sees my family.
We live in an area that is multiracial, thank god, but people still stare.
I love it when people are thinking or saying I must be the babysitter,
and my daughter says,"Mommy, I want some ... or Mommy, anything!" I've
never seen someone shut up so fast. But, they still stare, or become angry,
and recently even violent. But, for her sake, I continue to voice my pride
in being mixed and voice pride in her being white.
I am the Biracial mother of a beautiful 2 year old whose father is Black. We look just like my parents and I did...Black dad, White mom, and mixed kid. I find it somewhat distressing to realize that although I am proud and sometimes loud :) concerning my Biracial identity, the majority of people view me as the White mother of a Biracial child.
I have never been in a situation where my child's race was questioned, so I cannot honestly say how I'll respond when I'm first faced with the issue. Sure, I want her to assert her own identity, but until then, I'm not sure. I do feel, however, that because she looks more mixed than black, and because times are a changin' for racial identifyers, she will be labeled as mixed by most people.
I recently attended the Colorlines Conf. in Chicago. Mary Murchison-Edwords, a presenter and exhibitor, was selling a package of multiracial/interracial hand puppet families. I was astonished at how a simple child's toy could make me question my identity! Should I get the White mother/Black father/Biracial child or should I opt for the light-skinned Black mother/Black father/light-skinned child or ...you get my drift. Who was I in this family? They manufacturers don't do a Biracial adult so I have to choose between how I look (white) and how I feel (not white) knowing none of these puppets will look like me. Will my child recognize the puppets as Mama, Daddy and me?! It was hilarious and disturbing at the same time.
It's a fascinating topic and like with a lot of "issues" you don't really
know how you feel until the issue concerns your child. We're all fortunate
though to be facing these issues while the country is opening up the idea
of questioning racial labels. The fact that it is now a LAW to be able
to choose is indeed amazing and inspiring. P.S. I chose the light-skinned
Black mom . . . the white mom had blond hair!
I really want children and have often wondered if they would experience
the same kind of discrimination I have. I think this decision would depend
on the father and his input (verbal as well as genetic). However, race
is no longer put on birth certificates in the state in which I live and
hopefully by the time my children get old enough to have to deal with this
issue it will not be an issue. Because my parents were mixed, I think my
children will be more "watered down", especially if I settle with someone
who is non-mixed.
As a new mother I am still pondering the issue of my daughter's race. I am Biracial (B/W) and her father is African American. Because I am a White appearing Biracial I know many people will see our family and think she's Biracial because they assume I'm White. She will have strong cultural influences from all aspects of her heritage including Native American. The irony of my particular situation is that I strongly encourage biracial identification on forms, for example, and when I identify her as Black, people will assume I'm her White mother "choosing" to identify my Biracial daughter as Black!!
I curious how biracial parents who marry White partners identify their children. It does seem like the same "logic" that labels my daugher as Black would consider these children White. Although that would probably only happen if the biracial parent looked White. I saw Harry Belafonte's daughter (not Shari) on a talk show with her newborn and her husband who's White. The baby looked White. I don't know whether or not Harry's daughter (Gina?) mother is White but she certainly looked like a candidate for My Shoes!