Adult Discussion Topic

Some say, “You are lucky. You don’t look black (hispanic, asian, native american, etc,).” Are you lucky?

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Responses To Discussion Topic:

I THINK THAT IS THE MOST STUPID COMMENT I HAVE EVER HEARD. WHAT MOST PEOPLE WHO ARE BI-RACIAL DON'T REALIZE IS, THAT EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE MIXED WITH WHAT EVER YOU ARE MIXED WITH, IF IT WAS NOT FOR THE POWER OF THOSE BLACK GENES, SWEETIE YOU WOULD NOT LOOK THE WAY THAT YOU DO. AND TRUST ME THE WHITE PEOPLE KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT WHITE AND THEY DON'T LOOK AT YOU ANT DIFFERENT IF ANY THING THEY LOOK AT YOU MORE AND SAY HE OR SHE LOOKS STUPID. I AM MIXED WITH BLACK AND ITALIAN AND I HAVE PEOPLE IN MY OWN FAMILY ON BOTH SIDES WHO HATE THE FACT THAT MY MOTHER AND FATHER ARE TOGETHER.TRUST WHEN YOU ARE STAND NEXT TO THAT WHITE PERSON WHETHER IT BE YOUR MOTHER OR YOUR FATHER, OTHER WHITE PEOPLE CAN SEE THE DIFFERENCE, AND THEY LOOK AT YOU LIKE YOU ARE CRAZY. SO YOU REALLY ARE MAKING YOUR SELF LOOK STUPID BY THINKING YOU'VE GOT THE UPPER HAND.

Trisha, You are as confused as they come.

Henry, I agree with you. I have had the same experiences as you. By the way Henry, I was at Ft. Ord the same year! The only advantage that I think we have is to truely be able to find out where these white people who claim not to be prejudice are coming from. As far as not looking black "Looks are deceiving". I think only those that have not been exposed to black culture really do not understand the TRUE Beauty of it. Usually do to the ignorence of their families and fear. I take pride at the opportunities to make people feel uncomfortable in regards to my race. Because, their uncomfortability shows their TRUE colors. I know to keep them in front of me at all times. I think people that are rejected by their black side are so because black people can sense that they do not WANT to be apart of them. So they are not. I look to many (white people)to be white, yet I am not Bi racial, but my father is and my mother is a typical Multi Racial Black Woman (Over 85-90% of blacks in america are MULTI RACIAL). Yes I was teased, but no more so than any other child, just a different target.I have never been rejected by Blacks, but do get knee jerk reactions from whites when I stake my claim. I am NOT ASHAMED. I am PROUD!

My dad's mom is from Dublin Ireland and they were raise in that Culture too. I was her companion coming up. I was exposed to my white side. I've been to Ireland on several occassions and even have an Irish passport (European Union). I even speak a little Gaelic. None of this gets in the way of my comfort in being Black. Because if you have to call it, with blacks you don't have to worry about being found out and with whites if you're found out, you're kicked out! Being up front has never stopped me from succeeding and going where I want. I speak six Languages which allows me to do that. Sure it adds to others confusion. But, that is their bad not mines! I was also my great grand mother's companion. She was a slave and lived to 105 years! I am of Afro Brazilian heretage as well and slavery did not end in Brazil until 1888. If you want to know where this division on the bi racial issue is heading look at what's going on in Brazil. She was coal black, beautiful and a very Proud woman. She taught me to cook, and to cook well. She also never let anyone run over her, she was not a slave anymore! So I feel sorry to those that choose to be a slave to society at the expense of exclusion based on looks. Especially, when those that they choose to exclude themselves from are as, if not more mixed than they are (even if they don't look it). By the way could someone please tell me what the heck "white" Culture is?????????? "black" Culture is: the Cultures (Multi)that were created and EXTENDED by the African Diaspora through out the Americans. This can be seen though our Food, Dance, Music, Folk beliefs, Ways of Worship, and common Slave Ancestry (even if it goes way back).

I did not read all the responses to this topic so this is just my opinion. I have never felt lucky in terms of looking more white or more black. Sometimes I get really upset about the "lot" I was given in life. I wish that I was one or the other and not both. White because it would be easier, black because of the cultural richness. There are negatives on both sides as well - white being completely naive to what is really going on in the world, black on not being able to get out of the poverty mentality (racism has a lot to do with that but so does other things). So do I feel lucky that I do not look black - no because my identity is black. So I do not appear to all who look at me as what I perceive myself to be - that is a hard fact to live by and it is very disappointing when someone I know says "oh I did not know you were black - you don't look like it". What a wonderful thing to say to someone!!

This makes me think of a comment my grandmother and mother made to me when they finally came clean and told me who I really was. They said they were both really curoius as to what color I would be when I was born and the first question my mom asked after she had me and her head was clear was, "What color is she?" Being raised by my Greek-Italian mother's family in an Italian neighborhood probably would have been a lot harder for me had I been darker. In my neighborhood there was a definite color line and when Blacks came into the white half, all activity would stop. All the old Italian widows would peer out of the slats in their blinds until he passed.

I was accepted there, but barely. I wouldn't say I was "lucky" not to look black, but I know it made things easier for me growing up. As an adult, I look at that statement with irony, because now I find it very difficult, if not impossible, to be accepted into the Black community in even a small way. Most of that is based on looks. Since I was never exposed to my Black ancestry while growing up, I feel I am missing a vital part of myself. So, today, I ask, "How lucky am I?"

On this topic I would like to share a moment that I found amusing. While stationed at Fort Ord, CA in 1989, the Division Equal Employment Office (DEEO)called my unit requesting a Black officer to conduct an investigation into a race-based complaint. I was not in the office at the time the call was received, so one of my fellow officers took the call, and for about 15-minutes agrued with the DEEO that I could not possibly conduct the investigation because I was not Black. Never mind the fact that for over the year I had already been in the office I use to read "Black Enterprise, Jet, Ebony, and talk about videos being played on BET", he refused to believe I was Black! He told them I was Spanish or Italian if anything, but not Black. By the time I returned, the story of his phone conversation had made it all the way around the office and up to my commanding officer's office. My commander tried to hide his surprise by laughing about it, and commenting that "Steve did not know you were Black, that's funny." The thing is, is that he did not know either until that afternoon, so as I laughed with him, I was also laughing at him for his ignorance. If there is any "luck in not looking Black", I guess it comes in the form of being privy to the true personalities of ignorant people.

Lucky. Sometimes. One night, while walking on a path in surburban Washington, I heard a group of fellows call out; If you are a (fill in the blank with the n word), we are going to kill you. You better not be a Blackie walking up here. I ignored them, sped up and gave a silent prayer of thanksgiving for my ambiguity. (I got mad afterwards). When white associates laugh at the "joke" when I say I am Black, I find myself not speaking up as I once did. Keeping their good will has become important, yet the constant fear of being "found out" keeps me honest. Now that I am more apt to claim the Bi-racial title, plus with it in the news so much because of the census issue, I find that I can be honest, and "out" at the same time. How freeing. Lucky? I don't know. After being raised Black and wishing I was darker or 100% something or another, it is hard to say. Admittly, I have more privilage than my darker skin Brothers and Sisters. At the same time,I have not walked in their Shoes. And not white or black person has walked in "My Shoes." (Love the name by the way)

My mother was Filipina/white and my father is black/native american. When I was born, my mother's only sister told her "at least she doesn't look black". I don't think I'm "lucky" at all. Because of the way I look, I am not accepted by the black community as a whole. Teasing over the last 27 years about my lack of melanin and rear end left me feeling like I was somehow deficient. Usually people think I am Latina or from the Middle East. Many black people approach me with caution, making erroneous assumptions about my character and personality based on how I look.

In the end, how much control did any human being have over the way he/she looked? None, of course. I feel now that I am lucky to look the way I do, not because I don't look black, but because I am what I am, and I reflect all of my genealogy and cultural inheritances.

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