Adult Discussion Topic

Some have accused us as being elitists by saying “Oh, you just think you are too good to be just black (hispanic, asian, native american, etc,).” Are you?

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Name: AnnC, fiercefolk@yahoo.com
Date: 9/7/99

How fortunate for some that in certain environments for those appellated one racial type live in a harmonious environment to find their place. It is a different internal challenge to wrestle with and find one's personal voice in a world that opposes conflict , contrast, or disruption to their vision of their universe. That challenge of those of us ambiguous folk is to weather the storm of criticism of their nonconformity and work it to a higher level. When I am thwarted by my "assigned" race on occasion and I am similarly undermined by the dominent power structure because I do not embrace their superiority of whiteness in its entirety, it's lonely feeling smug. Nonetheless, I feel the experience is a crucible that allows me great growth. .....that which does not kill us can only make us stronger and better human beings. Nonetheless, everyone needs to find their little sanctuary to renergize after dealing with the racial societal garbage.

I've encountered this attitude several times, and probably didn't always handle it as gracefully as possible. It may be that because the question was posed in a derisive, angry manner that I reacted with a little heat of my own. I would have much preferred to discuss the issue calmly and rationally. The subject may be just a little too volatile for some people to discuss with any objectivity.

Those incidents did cause me to examine my own motives, and try to clearly understand where the anger was coming from. I know that I sincerely don't feel that I'm better than anyone else. There are differences, but that's all they are. They're not better or worse. As I said in response to another discussion topic on this site, it's not about escaping blackness. For me, it's about accepting and embracing all those things that make up my ethnicity. If I deny any part of that ethnicity, I'm lying to myself and depriving myself of the richness that I believe can be a valuable part of the multiracial experience. Growing up with a foot in both worlds, I did a fair amount of self-denial and lying about myself. I don't do it anymore, and won't be put in a position where peer acceptance might again cause me to take the easy way out.

Why would a black person be angry at me for not identifying as black? The very nature of the question "Do you think you're better than me?" is racist and self- derogatory. It implies the usual nonsense that one race is somehow superior to another. So, what is the thinking here? I understand where it comes from, but I find it distressing. I think the question says as much about the person asking the question as it does about the person being asked. I could understand if that person were puzzled and genuinely interested. At that point, at least a basis for discussion exists.

One of the things I find so interesting about this topic is that while growing up, I had issues with self-esteem, some of which I'm sure were related to ethnicity. One problem I definitely didn't have was feeling superior to anyone. The notion that identifying as multiracial somehow makes me an elitist is completely alien to me. The difference now is that I feel better about myself, but not at the expense of that part of me which is black. I can see the distinction very clearly. I wish that I'd been able to make those individuals who asked the question see that as well.

I hear it all the time from family and friends, why are you saying your multiracial," do you think you're better than everyone else?", one spiteful co-worker questioned. I guess if I did like one co-worker who is bi-racial and just identified myself and my daughter as black, then everyone around me would be happy except us. Why are they trying to catagorize us? Why are being so afraid of us being proud of our mixed heritages? How in the world does that affect them?

Hmmm. This question of "You think you are too good to be Black." is what prompted me to identify myself as Bi-Racial at the late age of 33. I grew sick and disgusted at having to "re-apply" at the color line with each new Black friend I made. I grew up in a DC ghetto, raised by my Black Stepmother, went to all Black schools and know what it is like to be Black in america. I was fighting and getting my Butt kicked from the time I was a little child to prove my Blackness and solidarity. Regardless of my skin color, my green eys my "good" hair. By the time I was an adult, I could quote Fannon, Newton, Ture' Brown, Malcolm, Karange'and the ten point Panther platform better than anyone who had the fortune of being born with totally dark skin. I had been called the Devil by the Musilim in the street, and "Reds" by everyone else. I did not put myself on this pedestal. I was put there. And of course, my fortune changes with the time. When "Black is Beautiful", I am not. When "Bright is in", so am I. Well, I refuse to be defined, catagorized, accepted, debated, tolerated, elevated, or demoted anymore. I am Bi-Racial. I love my color, I love my ambiguity. I love me. Does looking white make me better than anyone else? No, in the word of MLK, the content of my character makes me a better person, the compassion in my heart, the love of ALL my fellow humans makes me a better person. Not my "good" hair.

I've heard this comment all of my life. When I moved into a predominantly black college dormitory after my mother died, people stayed away from me in droves. I had inherited her Volvo (which was six years old), and carried a purse that I got for 60% off at a sale (it happened to be designer). These inconsequential items, when paired with my natural reserve and quietness, had most of the residents labeling me as some kind of "Whitley Gilbert" It seems to me that some persons are happy projecting cultural stereotypes onto me despite the fact that they do not know me.

My black relatives like to use this line of reasoning to excuse the fact that they had little to do with me after my parents divorced (I was three). It took years for me to realize that I was not responsible for the way others perceived me, and that it was not my responsibility to try to "fix" those ignorant, erroneous perceptions by talking or acting differently.

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