Kendra Lloyd
I am a 33 year old, just now identifying myself as Bi-Racial after many years of Identifying as mono-racial. My Mother, who is and was un-known to me was White, my father who is/was known to me was Black. I was raised by my Father's wife with their children. Needless to say, all was not great on the home front. I think my reluctance to identify as Bi-Racial stems from the abuse I suffered as a "white" child, born to an illicit union, by the family I was raised with. Paying for Daddy's mistake sort of thing, and wanting to belong. I was raised with no contact with white folks and in a fairly poor enviornment where white folks were the enemy. I, because of my fair skin, long "good" hair, and white apperance, was an easy target. I struggled to be accepted as Black. To be Blacker thatn Black actually.
Now that I move in more professional circles, I am starting to feel that I do not fit in anywhere. Although I socialize with whites more or less, I feel not quite a part of that community. Possibly due to my upbringing. I tend to spend a great deal of time alone as a result. I am now at the stage in my life where I am ready to re-identify myself, and try to find a community where I feel more at ease, less "exotic", and more "normal".