Eterro Barton
Hi. My name is Eterro Barton. I stumbled upon this site by chance, and I was blown away by all the stories that I read. Some peoples experiences with race issues were real tear jerkers! I want to share my experience with the group although I may not really belong directly. I am a 27 year old engineer who comes from a very diverse cultural family on both sides. My Father was born in a small town called Mims Florida from a father with African/Jewis roots. He was a dark complected man with very broad Jewish features. His wife Roberta Jackson was an African American woman with distinct features of blacks, ie: flat nose & broad lips. My mother was born of mixed heritage also. Her father was one of 11 children born to an Iriqua woman and her black husband, recently freed from slavery. My maternal grandmother was one of 13 children born to her mother from her slave master. She & all but two of her siblings were very dark-skinned (black) shildren with one distinct feature, they were born with sky blue eyes.
Having married my grandfather, they produced 18 children who grew up in the south. (Alabama) Most migrated up North to New York & other places. Please don't get bored I wanted to explain that to say this. As a child I grew up in a home where my mother being a fair complected woman, loved all about her blackness. I was raised African American in a predominately white neighborhood. During my childhood I saw children in my family who seemed to get much more attention than I. It soon became evident to me that they were being graced because of their appearence & complexion. I was a brown skinned child surrounded by "high yellow" sibblings & cousins, aunts & uncles. I was never treated indifferently at home by my parents, but outside of my home things were quite different. People were always asking where did I come from, or why did I turn out the way I did.
I did not have the fair skinned or the wavy hair. My nose was broad not sharp or small. Although I favor my family members on both sides of my family, I lacked the features that they so praised for beauty. This gave me a serious complex growing up. I began to bleach my skin to attain a lighter complexion. I used chemicals to soften my hair, only to gain acceptance from my family & peers. It wasn't until Jr. High school that my problems worsened. I attended private school the majority of my life, and there I met opposition from whites that a child should never have to experience. I was the only black in a southern baptisit private school. I was ridiculed every day for my hair, complexion broad lips and nose. Everyday I was fighting someone in school for picking on me, just because I was different. I cried, became depressed, and this torture made me hate my blackness. I dated only white's or very fair complected black women. All of my so-called friends were white or "white acting", and I begged my parents for money to get a nose job.
It was then that my mother began to wonder what was going on with me. She called he mother & let her explain her background to me. She also explained to me her blue eyes. She told me to look around at my family members and take notice of the different variations of skin tones within my family. The facial features varied from person to person along with their complexions. My parents took time to let me know that I was a very handsome young man, regardless of how I was being made to feel. After taking careful consideration of what they were saying, I realized that they were right. I am black & beautiful, with my broad lips and nose. My dark brown complexion and kinky hair. Many people in my family have married white,s and some hispanics. There are even Fillipinos in our family. It's a very diverse family that I have.
Since high school, I sometimes still struggle with the fact that people will put a tag on another persons ethnicity. Through this trap I found myself caught, but I cut my way out. I can truly empathize with what some people have said on this forum, because I myself have encountered racial discrimination from whites & blacks alike. I've been called nigger by white people, and cheese, cracker wanna be, sell out by my black people. It has hurt me in relationships and potential relationships because of the feelings that I once held within my heart. I have sat and talked with a bi-racial cousin of mine who considers himself all black, and regards his mother as a useless in his life. With this I don't agree, but it's his life. My only grief is that people will shun one race and claim another if it's in their gain. It's not the bi-racial persons fault that they are of mixed heritage. I feel that there may never be a full acceptance of any one ethnic group by another, until we fully accept ourselves. In order to do that one has to understand that we are all created beings living, working, and sharing together experiences on earth, whether good or bad. I care not the color of your skin, the make up of your racial background, nor the language that you speak. You are human just as myself.
I hope that through my sharing this little bit of myself that someone is helped to conquer the feeling of not fitting in. Just be who you are and that's the beautiful person that God made you.