DianeLike many other members of this site, I am very grateful to
have found this website. I am a 26 yr. old California native,
born in a small town in Northern California to a black father
and white mother. My dad left when I was about 3 or 4, so I
really don't have too many memories of him. I have a white
brother from a different dad. My mom was the best now and
when I was growing up. Because there were no black people
around when I was growing up, she made sure that she taught
both me and my brother about African American history. I
remember crying about Martin Luther King, Jr. and wishing
there was something that I could have done (even though I
wasn't born at the time). When I was first ridiculed at school,
I ran home to tell my mom and one of the first things I
remember about how I was different was that she told me
that God had left me in His oven a bit longer than He had
other kids. I loved that then, and I love that now. After that
experience in elementary school I didn't face any blatant
racism until high school. My town is very small and the high
school which I attended had about 5 or 10 black kids. It goes
without saying that they did not like me. I have a caramel
color (in the winter which darkens a bit in the
summer-maybe dark caramel-who knows?) and I have some
Black features. I have been mistaken for Puerto Rican,
Middle Eastern, Spanish, Mexican, even part Asian (I don't
know why?). Now I could care less about what people think
I am. I happened to be in honors classes, have white and
hispanic friends and frankly, loved school. One thing that I
was and still am constantly badgered about is the way I
speak. If you must stereotype me, I speak like a "white"
person. I hate saying that so I'd rather say I speak mainstream
or proper American English. I've never been comfortable
with any type of slang and if you knew me then you'd
understand (I would literally sound stupid and funny--)-Don't
get me wrong, I don't care if other people talk this way but I
would sound stupid)I remember one girl asking me if I was a
"nigger"-I said NO! I remember that at one point I wanted to
be in the Black Student Union but after I was verbally
attacked, I could have cared less about them. My mom just
told me that they were ignorant. There was nothing else I
could do at the time because it was so confusing. I finally
graduated and moved to San Diego for college. My mom told
me that I would meet educated Black people who have had
different experiences with people and would be more
accepting of me. I will never forget the day when I was
walking on campus and a Black man was walking the
opposite way and he said " What's up, sista?" I literally
started crying. For the first time in my life, I felt as though
this Black man, who did not even know me, actually
accepted me! I had made it! I thought. It was an incredible
experience-one I'll never forget. But my worries were far
from over. I struggled with wanting Black friends and not
wanting them at the same time. I was and still am more
comfortable around white people who have been around a
variety of cultures. I have yet to meet many Black people
who feel this way. Funny...Anyways, to skip to NOW, I have
found a church (it's mainly Black) and the first day I went I
was scared to death! I have met some wonderful people and I
actually have Black friends. Funny thing is that it's not the
same type of friendship I have with my best friends who
happen to be white. I'm still situating myself in the Black
culture. There definitely are distinct Black and White
cultures and I guess I'm figuring out how to walk through
both. Sometimes I just wish people would get to know me
first before judging me. I love to learn about new people and
their backgrounds but it seems like a lot of people don't want
to step out of their box. It's a sad thing. My best friends are
people who enjoy other cultures, are open-minded, loving,
think "out-of-the-box" and accept me for me! I love that! It's
rare when I meet someone who I "click" with, but when I do,
I know the friendship will last a lifetime. I thank God for
making me who I am. I do believe that biracial people are on
this earth for a Godly reason-like someone else on this site,
we are the bridge to acceptance for Black and White people.
It's a tall order but I know we can do it! It may take some
time to fully accept ourselves as biracial but once it happens
it's almost like 100 pounds of junk are lifted off of our backs!