Darryn I am 20 yrs old and it has only been within the last 2 years that i have finally come to grips with who i am and where i fit in in today's society. My mom is white, and my father black. I am about in the middle as far as complexion, i guess. i have seen many mulattoes darker and many lighter. i do have some combination of skin tone and physical features such that no one will ever mistake me for white. i also have pretty unusual hair as far as mulattoes are concerned: it is not curly or wavy but instead has the exact same appearance and texture of a full black person. my nineteen year old brother's is not, nor is any other mulattoes that i have ever met. but my issue has definitely never been with my hair. Most mulattoes, i have learned thru websites such as this one, who are dark enough to 'pass' as black, do so and assimilate into the black community, often times denying their white half. this would prove to be a problem for me as a kid. My parents divorced right after i was born, and, for valid reasons i wont go into, my mother had all my father's parental rights revoked. which was ok with him, he really has never expressed interest in me anyways. but all this means is that i grew up in a white world, submersed in white culture by my mother, who, although she is truly of the most amazing women living as all who know her agree, did not even attempt to teach me the other half of my heritage. i have never seen my father. i had never spoken to him until i was 18, and i dont speak to him now as he has no desire to do so. So, here i was a freshman in high school, looking like i light-skinned black, but knowing nothing of black culture. i just wanted to fit in more than anything. so i tried my hand with the blacks, of course hearing constant remarks and jokes. i grew to realize that these blacks, like most in the deep south where i grew up, wanted to completely segregate themselves from whites. but to do this would be to deny my white heritage and my mother, whom i love more than anything. i gradually learned a few undeniable facts. 1) Most people are racist, both blacks and whites 2) Most whites and blacks agree on one thing more than any other: blacks should marry blacks; whites should marry whites 3) Most people dont not believe #2 is a racist statement 4) ALL of this is ignorance 5) Race as a whole is nothing more than man-made hate
it is very sad and frustrating that so many people get so caught up in race and are so shallow that they cannot see past it. i think the knowledge that most people are so ignorant regarding race makes me feel much more isolated than the fact that im biracial.
I am very happy with my life now. i have learned much about both sides of my being and enjoy my unique vantange point. i put a lot of energy into educating my peers on the uselessness of race. one at a time. it is easy to help people of one race relate to the other when you are both races and can see things from both their side and the other side. Only thing is, no one can see it from my side. there are so many issues completely exclusive to mulattoes, that no one else can understand. that is why i love this website. thank all of you for letting me know that there are people who do relate to me on my level. i love being the unique person that i am and i thank God for this blessing/curse, as im sure most of you do.