Raza
I am a 28 year old American living in the USA. The most odious question I have ever heard, and I hear it all of the time, is "what are you?"
My maternal grandfather was Filipino, my maternal grandmother was Anglo/Native American (her mother was of the Creek tribe). My paternal grandfather was black, and my paternal grandmother was the offspring of mulatto (for lack of a better word) parents. Because my parents were raised in the south during Jim Crow, their heritages were crudely distilled to "white" and "black".
My black relatives were scarce for most of my life because my parents divorced when I was very young. My mother tried to see that I was exposed to the black community. After my mother died, I accepted the label "black" to please my black relatives who accused me of trying to pass because I grew up in a predominantly white, professional community. Ironically, once I started calling myself black, the black community didn't seem to think I was black enough. I carried an enormous burden of guilt about my black ancestry; I wasn't comfortable (an understatement) in the black community, but when I spent time with friends of other races and (heaven forbid) dated men of different races, I was accused of "trying to be white." Finally, I realized that who I date is my choice and I don't owe anyone any explanations. I have tried to explore my multiple heritages. I have learned to experience my black heritage through music, television and movies since I felt it necessary to move out of an all black environment.
My Asian ancestry remains invisible, which is not surprising given that Asians are an invisible minority, pushed to the side in racial debates that focus exclusively on black/white issues. I attended the wedding of a Filipino cousin last year, and found it interesting that skin color issues and mixed heritage issues exist in that community as well. Spanish and British imperialism affected many different cultures and countries, but it seems they all have the same issues.
Finally I feel comfortable in my own skin, happy with who I am, and I am not willing to have people in my life who are not able to support my multiracial existence.